Peace Out Stupid Year

Good Morning Loves!!!  I’ve missed you all soo very much!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you for not abandoning me while I’ve been completely MIA from life in general these past few weeks.  I’d dish it all out for you but I promise the details are as ugly as a Monday…

But here is the overview...I was crazy sick and had to postpone my dates, they ran down the list of infections, found inflamed lymph nodes and had to check for cancer (I’m clear thank god) now I’m finally feeling better ..then my car was rear ended while I was on my way to work which threw me into such a rage the guy that hit me was practically shaking, oops and to put the cherry on top of this fuck my life sundae I ended up having to get an emergency wisdom tooth extraction right before Christmas.  This caused me to miss a 12 Pubs of Christmas bar crawl I had planned with a few of my girlfriends for which I got the most amazing toy soldier costume...I need to find a use for it now.  The Vicodin was a blast but not being able to eat like the piglets my cousins and I turn into on the holidays was fucking miserable.  God Bless desert though…nice and soft and extraction friendly…but fuck you desert for making feel like a lump of fat the past few days.  When a doctor prescribes a diet of shakes and ice cream and no exercise it makes me wonder if he may be the devil.

So as we all can see amongst all this insanity my poor blog has been neglected and my adventures derailed which is really the biggest travesty of all.  Seriously, fuck you December.  I’m so over 2010...get it the fuck away from me.  Bring on the new year because this year fucking sucked…with one exception being the creation this blog and meeting all of you.  Seriously, thanks for being a tremendous highlight in an otherwise fairly shit ass year.  Your comments, emails, and your own blogs have touched me in so many ways (and I liked it every time…can I have seconds?)  I can’t wait for a brand new year with all of you!!

Onto more fun and interesting things...There was a chance I was going to be heading to Miami for NYE but due to a few complications, such as ticket prices skyrocketing we switched focus back to NYC, which in the long run is probably better for me but not for you since I can’t even imagine the stories I would have come back with.  I'm hoping I am back in tip top shape to party it up for NYE and bring back some good stories for all to drool over…I have to make up for not going to party in the city where the heat is on (sorry I had to!!)  I’ve got a couple more days to rid my face of my bruise and perk up to my normal party standards.  Wait, screw that…I need to be above normal.  I haven’t have a fun night out in nearly a month and I deserve it.  So I need to step it up and rock the fuck out.  I’ve got till midnight to find a hottie to make out with and damn it I will!!  Its that or Patches will be getting a face-full of me! 

There is a chance that Jim from way back to The Office Episodes 1 & 2 may come with my friends and I for NYE.  I haven’t seen him since our last date and we haven’t talked too much since I botched the fuck out of his invite to his birthday but yesterday we got to chatting and when I heard he didn’t have any plans yet I, in a moment of crazy I couldn't keep at bay, extended an invitation to him to join us. Um what?!?  Who does that?!?!  This may end up being awesome or seriously stupid.  I won’t be upset if he says no and then again I may be upset if he agrees.  If he comes I basically just ended my chances of flirting for the evening…if there are hot guys there I will want to kill myself…if not, then score for me.  I anticipate him giving me an answer today so let’s wait and see what happens.

Either way…I hope you all have a safe, happy, get-drunk-and-make out New Years!!! (please leave your cars at home!!)  Emphasis is especially on the make out part because you know me and that’s my favorite.  Anyone who doesn’t have someone to kiss on NYE let me know, I’ll tell you where I’ll be and I will be happy to kiss you.  I promise you there is no better way to start the year then a kiss from me.  xoxo

Just a Little Frosting...

Earlier this week, while bored at work (I must be honest), I decided to hop online and peruse the internet for a potential suitor.  For a variety of reasons I haven’t really done this much recently.  Partly because my life has felt like such a fucking train wreck I can barely think straight.  Partly because I’ve been meeting so many hotties while I’m out (this isn’t an issue just an excuse).  Partly because some of the guys that had been popping up online leave me wondering if there was a sudden severe drought in the gene pool because it was a total snooze fest and had me googling whether you can legally marry your vibrator.

Thankfully the other day was a bit refreshing.  After logging in for the first time in, oooh I dunno, maybe a month or so…I’m telling you Ireland totally fucked up my chi…in a good way…but damn a month!...anyway, I logged in and found there is actually a very nice selection of meat men  waiting for me.  Before trying to contact any of them I decided it was a good time to review my own profile and see if it needed some TLC. 

Oh and folks let me tell you, it certainly did.  I switched up a couple of the pictures and did a total revamp of my About Me section.  And here is where the meats and potatoes of this post comes in…for those of you ballsy enough to be on a dating website perhaps this may come in handy for you.  When you really start to take a look at other peoples profiles you will realize it’s the same fucking thing over and over and over again...and I was guilty of this as well until this week.  It’s  like we’re all sitting around with a thesaurus in our lap furiously looking up every adjective we can find that may describe our personalities and we just throw them up there separated by a million fucking commas and think this will impress someone.  Then we start rambling about how much our family and friends mean to us and how much we love spending time with them.  Well, unless your some sort of psychotic serial killer or a complete loner (in which case you probably wouldn’t be on a dating site) the chances are you do love your family and/or friends and will enjoy spending time with them.  Almost everyone likes movies, trying new restaurants and can dress up as well as dress down.  It seems every fucking person in NYC thinks they are spontaneous and would love to travel more.  And of course we all want to meet someone who DOESN’T play games…which is actually funny since almost everyone says this yet, you still meet people online who play them…fucking liars.

So, I’ve just called out about 97% of dating profiles.  If you fit into this why would someone feel completely compelled to write (something personalized) to you.  Well surely you’ve got your pictures and obviously there are people who are extremely talented with the written word so they can take all the cliché stuff and make it sound interesting.  Bravo people, bravo!  While there are plenty of times I will be interested and want to contact  someone with the standard profile but it’s usually just with a wink.  It’s the ones with someone different, something funny or off beat to say that will really catch my attention and make me want to take the time to write an email.  You all know how refreshing it is to read something different, it’s almost like getting splashed in the face with cold water and you feel like you just woke up from the profile coma the other duds put you into.  If everyone is writing the same thing then shouldn’t all that shit just be obvious?  Why not take your profile as an opportunity to tell these people why you are special and different and why they would want to date you instead of the 500 other people with just as attractive pictures who also are fun, energetic and competitive.

After calling myself out on being a card carrying member of the “Your Profile is Going to Make Me go Fucking Catatonic” club I decided to jazz things up a bit…by the way for some reason this totally made me think about the scene from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days when Kate Hudson tells Matthew McConaughey that the dog collar with diamonds is “just a little frosting”…a little sparkle can go a long way to get you noticed!!

 I made a few bullet points of information about me that’s different and fun to “frost” my profile and see what would happen.  Here are a few examples:

*My love for rum makes me wonder if at some point I might have been a Pirate (I think I’d make a pretty awesome Pirate )

*There is a really good chance I will kick your butt in Mario Kart and Rock Band (am I just that good or do I play dirty??)

*Chocolate Milk…enough said

*Snuggling is my kryptonite...don't judge me!

Now this isn’t anything spectacular or mind blowing but it’s just a little different then the norm and let me tell you…my inbox was on FIRE!  Between emails, IMs and winks I’ve been getting a lot of attention.  Whether it’s from the new information or not it’s hard to say for sure…but being that it’s the biggest thing I’ve changed (the pictures are definitely not doing it especially since one of them is me completely covered in mud) I’m putting my money on me being right.  Oh and I suppose the fact that guys keep referencing how awesome my profile is and how cool I sound helps back me up as well.  Instead of getting the standard “Hey, how are you?” type messages guys are picking out things from my profile and commenting on them.  I’ll say that this is something I’ve always done with guys who have a more unique profile…it gives you the opportunity to write something interesting, which is nice for both the reader and the writer because really how much does a “Hey, how are you?” email suck!!!  How the fuck are you supposed to respond to that?  “Yeah I’m good.  And yourself?”  and end communication. 

I’m now challenging all of you to check out your profile if you have one or if your thinking of making one or if you have a friend who has one find out their password and commandeer it…read through it yourself, have a friend read it, read it to your dog and see if it rolls over and plays dead to make you stop…be objective and see if your profile could use a little life support…and who knows before you realize you may be booked up with dates until Christmas!!

The Juicy Details: Just from yesterday alone I now have 3 dates scheduled next week with a physicist, a Navy man and a guy who I’m not 100% sure what he does yet but he’s hilarious so what the hell…now it’s your turn!!!  *Frost Yourself!*

Verdict Reached....

THANK YOU so much to everyone who sent along some words of wisdom for my last post Write or Stay Silent.


You all gave me a lot to consider and it was all extremely helpful.  This is why I'm so fucking in love with all of you!!! 


So, what I've decided to do is this...I'm going to write the post but I'm not going to put it on the blog...*yet*.  Until I have an opportunity to really chat with my friend about it I'm not going to paste the story on the front page of my blog...sad I know, but I have a heart, love my friends and would hate to offend anyone.  Most of you told me to just go for it...after all it is my blog and I should write whatever I feel passionate about and I was completely riding that train like a champ.  I felt all...fuck that shit I'm saying what I want because I can motherfuckers!  Ok, maybe I wasn't that obnoxious but you get the idea....then I read this tid bit from Mademoiselle Hautemess and it really struck a cord with me..."...your blog won't take you for drinks when you are sad or happy, your blog won't listen to you cry, your blog won't tell your ex to go fuck himself..."  She's 100% right and there is nothing more satisfying then having people tell your ex to fuck off and nose dive off a cliff.


With that, if you would like to read the post when I'm finished with it send me an email and I'll pass it along to you!  There is an excellent chance it will end up on the blog after all but for those who lack patience, like me, just hit me up here and I'll satisfy all your wishes ;-)  daterview@gmail.com 

Write or Stay Silent...

I’m having a bit of a dilemma and I’m not sure what to do about it.  It’s nothing terribly serious, its completely blog related.  Basically there is a post I really, really want to write.  It’s about an outing from this past weekend.  The dilemma, however, is that if I write this post it will reveal my feelings/opinion, which I haven’t and probably may never say out loud, on the events of the evening that involve a friend of mine. 

You may be asking why would I write about it then…and here is why…it’s something I have a strong opinion about and something I feel would bring out a point I constantly try to make to people I know, girls especially.  My hesitation in writing stems from the fact that there is a chance my friend could read this and I don’t want to upset them in case they do.

So the question is…do I write what I want to write and get my feelings and thoughts out there on my own blog whose purpose is to be a medium for me to do such things while taking the risk of a friend potentially being upset over it or perhaps potentially learning something….or do I stay quiet?

I know this is a personal choice but I’d love to hear what the rest of you would do…this is a tough one.

Practice Squad or Starting Line Up...

When I was in high school and trying to decide where to go to college I suddenly developed this disdain for Boston.  I can’t tell you where it came from, when it started or why.  All I know is I would talk shit about Boston any time someone brought it up or asked me if I applied to any schools there.  My family and I had gone to visit the city and I know I enjoyed it and I believe I may have been there on a school trip at some point and enjoyed that too.  So why hate Boston?  Typical New Yorker perhaps...its simply in my blood?  I would say to anyone who would listen…”Boston is a nice place to visit once or twice and leave but I would absolutely never live there.”  It may have been because it seemed like everyone else was doing it and I had to be different or maybe I actually believed that at the time.

A couple of years ago on a long weekend trip to Boston I quickly changed my tune.  Suddenly I was in love with Boston.  I kept saying I wanted to go back and just never took the opportunity.  Finally one presented itself to me.  A friend of mine from college went to BC and wanted to go to the last game of the season.  Did someone say road trip?!?!

I had never experienced the nightlife in Boston so I was really excited to see what it had to offer.  I wasn’t anticipating meeting any guys being that it just didn’t seem like it would be that kind of weekend and besides we were going to watch college football and I was not about to hook up with a college boy.

We arrived at the hotel pretty late Friday night, checked in, chugged a beer and headed to the bar…we’ve got priorities.  Actually, the band two of my friends booked for their wedding happened to be playing at a bar nearby so we all wanted to go check them out and get a preview for the wedding.

The second we walked in the bar my jaw nearly hit the floor.  First the ratio of guys to girls was completely in my favor and second they were all hot.  Is this even possible?!?!  I was having a hard time finding a bad looking guy there.  On top of it the band sounded awesome, the atmosphere was totally chill but yet completely rocking…I knew it was going to be a good night. 

At one point I was leaning against a table, enjoying my beer and the sights while my friends were off buying another round when I found myself staring at this gorgeous guy.  I saw him hop up on the stage earlier to dance with the band and made a comment that he was really cute and looked really fun.  Now that he was right in front of me it was all confirmed.  He was dancing with this really pretty girl and I just stood by and watched…all the while silently judging what a terrible dancer she was.  Yeah fuck you, I’m a girl, I’m allowed to be jealous judgmental.  Honestly though I really enjoyed looking at him but I wasn’t exactly in the mood to try and get his attention.  So I just continued to stand by, drinking my beer and minding my own business.

Next thing I knew he was standing in front of me grabbing my hand!!  What just happened??  How did I go from aloof to center of the dance floor without knowing it.  I’ve never been one to turn down the opportunity to dance so after a brief, empty hearted protest I let loose.  I’m actually a really good dancer (one of the only things I’ll ever boast about) so I was excited to show him what I’ve got.

We had some serious chemistry on the dance floor.  I almost never enjoy dancing with a guy because most of the time all they want to do is grind your ass or just sway side to side with your legs intertwined and frankly its boring and intrusive on my dance space…this guy was different.  We were having a blast.  Then he leans in and with his massive hands (a direct quote from my friend about his hands…”Ive never shook the hand of another man who actually made mine feel small”) grabs my face and plants a kiss on me!!!  This was almost exactly like Casanova from the Frying Pan.  What is it with men and kissing me without permission?  I don’t even know why I don’t get upset about it…their hotness fucks up my better judgment.  Oops.  Well then he puts his lips next to my ear and tells me how gorgeous I am and what an incredible body I have.  Well, thank you so much …keep it coming, after all what girl doesn’t love compliments?  Before I could even say thank you he has his hands under my arms and lifts me up above his head like I’m a toy.  Not only did this make me feel amazing but it just upped him on the sexy scale like 100 times.  Any guy that can pick up a girl like that you know is not only strong but can totally take control…its undeniably sexy.  Picking me up soon turned into his favorite thing to do...I have no idea why but he just couldn't get enough.  So weird.

As I beg him to put me down before we look like a complete spectacle my hands rub against his and I realize how rough and calloused they are.  I ask him if he’s a contractor since his hands are so rough and he immediately tells me no.  So the conversation progressed a little like this…

“Well what is it that you do that your hands are so rough?  Do you go to the gym a lot”  (well fucking duh, he’s the size of a car of course he does)

“Kinda”

“Oh cool, so what is it that you do exactly?”

“I play sports”

“Oh that’s fun, what sports do you play?”

“Football”

“That’s awesome, I love football.  So is it like a league or anything like that”

“Um yeah its something like that”

“Ok…so what position do you play?”

“Linebacker”  (no surprise there…remember the size of a car comment)

“Nice! Go D!...So are you from Boston?”

“Nope, Philly.”  (after which I immediately step back with my hands in the air and a look of disgust on my face…I’m a Giants fan so anyone from Philly is a big no no.)

“Oh god no…so does that mean you’re an Eagles fan?!”

“Yeah something like that.  Why?”

“I’m from NY”  (he presents me with an equally disgusted look like the one I just gave him…this is going well)

“Oh don’t tell me you’re a Giants fan…”

“Yes I am and just wait till we kick some Eagles ass on Sunday!!”  (he proceeds to roll his eyes at me)

In an attempt to change the topic to something less sensitive I go back to asking him what he does professionally….

“So what did you say you do?”

“I play football…”

“I know you said that….wait, you mean professionally?”

“Yeah something like that…”  (ugh stop being vague!)

“For who?”

“um, well i'm from Philly…”

“Shut up…you play for the Eagles?!?”

“Well, I practice with them sometimes.”

And he just looks at me smiling.  Then he squeezes my hand, kisses my face and leans into my ear and whispers to tell me what his real name actually is then walks away.  What a tease!!! 

The Juicy Details:  I head back over to join my friends and gush about what a hottie he was.   A little while later I was heading to the bar to grab a beer and run into my linebacker…almost literally.  He was being escorted out of the bar and had his phone out in his hand and was apparently trying to find me before they forced him out.  He wanted my number.  So I walk with him as I type and then he kisses me goodbye while a bouncer was holding his arm.  We were texting a bit until my friends and I left to head back to our hotel.  Next thing I know my phone is ringing and it’s the linebacker.  He was begging me to come to his hotel and that I should bring my friend (who is also single) because he wanted to hang out with me.  I wasn’t giving in.  Yes, it would have made for an incredible, juicy blog post and a wonderful story but I was tired and I wasn’t about to be a booty call.  His friend got on the phone to try and convince me as well and I took the opportunity to verify the Eagles story.  His friend said he was on the practice squad and that it was no big deal.  Interesting.  I politely declined the invite and asked if he would be around tomorrow.  He said he needed to get back to Philly for the game on Sunday so he’d be leaving bright and early.  Bummer.  Even still we were texting on Saturday and both expressing how disappointed we were we couldn’t meet up…he called me trying to see me again before he left but he was near Harvard, I was near BC and there just wasn’t enough time.  Our night of dancing and making out was going to have to be enough.  Plus I firmly believe when you meet someone in those circumstances very rarely is a second encounter ever nearly as good as the first.

On Sunday when my friends and I were watching the Giants game I was telling them about the linebacker.  One of my friends decided to google his name and position and see what came up.  Well folks, not only does he practice for them, but he is part of their starting line up!!!  No wonder he was down playing everything...Oh and he caught the final interception to officially end the game so now I have to hate him…kind of.  

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Threes Company Pictures....

As promised...here is a sampling of the ridiculous pictures Smitch took of me during my last full night in Dublin...




I hope you enjoy looking at them half as much as I enjoyed posing for them!!

Trying my best to mimic the mannequin

We walked past this spot going to the bar...no tree...we leave the bar...BAM full blown Christmas tree!

Can't remember the last time I saw a legitimate phone booth

He let me hop on solely for a photo op...so sweet!

Some famous statue...don't remember who...blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

And there you have it!!!  Hope these photos helped make your night fan-fucking-tastic!!!!

Come back tomorrow to hear all about my Bean Town (Boston) adventures!!!

Thats Not My Name...

Last Friday night was Girls Night Out for me and Patches.  I had promised her before I left for Ireland that my first Friday home would be reserved for a super fun night out for the two of us since we were long overdue.  I was looking forward to it all week.

Being that neither one of us is capable of making a decision it took almost 2 dozen phone calls, a few BBMs and some gchats to get our asses in gear and make our way to the bar.  No, its not that difficult, we just make it seem that way. 

Anyway, the first bar we hit up, The Wild Goose, which is usually a fun place on Friday nights, turned out to be a total bust.  They charged us $5 to get in since they had a band, which I get and never have a problem with since I love bands.  Tonight I ended up having an issue being that the band blew, really bad and they were set up in the second room of the bar where you couldn't even order drinks.  Over in the other room where the full bar is located there was a DJ blasting music so loud you would never know there was a band in the other room had you not paid to get in.  So annoying.  I may have felt like this was a win-win, DJ or Band we would have our pick...but the band sucked and the DJ was way too loud for such a small, chill space that you couldn't enjoy either.  On top of it there was literally no eye candy.  Now, Patches and I were out for a girls night and not to scope for men (finding anyone would just be an added bonus) but itd be nice to at least have something yummy to look at besides my beer.  Basically all this combined made us decide that immediately after finishing our first and only beer we'd move on.

We made our way to Bootleg Mannings, another bar I've been to a few times and always manage to have a blast at.  These ginormous beers they have for only $5 may have something to do with it...

Another $5 cover due to another band, although we could hear from outside this band sounded great.  We scoped out the new scene and both immediately approved so the next order of business was getting beer in our belly.

 

 yummy

While we were sitting down I felt someone staring at me.  I look over and see this tall, built, hot guy looking right at me.  I immediately turned my head and smiled because I was so caught off guard by how much my type he was.  This kept up for a few minutes...the looking back and forth and catching one another's eyes...until he finally looked over and say "What??" with a huge smile and lots of laughter.

Eventually he made his way over and we introduce ourselves.  I find out he's a fireman (score!!) and was just promoted to lieutenant (double score!) and lives in the area.  Patches and Torch (is that inappropriate??) happened to have a few friends in common and we were all having a great time getting to know each other.

When Patches got up to head to the bathroom Torch immediately starting laying on the compliments.  He kept telling me how hot I was and how my bangs were his "kryptonite".  He said he couldn't take his eyes off me so it was only a matter of time before he made his way over.  All the while our faces kept moving in closer and closer until he finally wrapped his big, fire scared hands around my little face and pulled me in for a kiss.  He was such a wonderful kisser...I could have kept that up the rest of the night.

Once Patches returned her smirk told me she definitely saw us kissing.  When Torch left to go get us beers we gushed about what a great guy he seemed to be.  So far the only downside was that he seemed a little dumb.  Now, I don’t mean to be critical or judgmental...it's just the things he was saying and the stories he was telling (ie - about him and his friends getting stoned all the time in high school and college) we both knew would soon get under my skin if I ever spent a decent amount of time with this guy.  I am all about giving people the benefit of the doubt and being that he was drunk and the stories were about the past I was willing to give a pass for the meantime.

When we were ready to get going Torch pleaded with me to stay but then settled on asking if he could see me tomorrow.  I was so surprised that it took me a second to answer.  99% of the time, in my experience, when you meet a guy out and they ask for your number its always with a promise that they will call you after some undetermined length of time.  Rare is it that you have a guy say he wants to see you again tomorrow...flutter!  We totally like Torch!

The Juicy Details:  After agreeing and sealing with a kiss to see him tomorrow Torch pulls out his phone to get my number.  He starts asking me if my number starts with 848 or some random area code and I quickly correct and say no I'm from NY its 917.  He questions me again to make certain I was sure as he's feverously hitting keys on his phone and finally holds it up and says "are you sure this isn't your number?"  He was dialing a number out of his phone...now let's not forget the fact that I hadn't given him my number yet so there is no way in hell he could be dialing it unless he was psychic...so this was awkward.  I thought for a split second that perhaps he had another PYT programmed in his phone and just got confused from being drunk...then I looked at the screen...and there it is...not only is it not a 917 but the name is EMILY!!!  Now I haven't told you my name but I will say it’s the furthest thing from Emily.  When I tell him this he looks at me confused and sad and again says "Are you sure?"...oh this is not going to end well.  I turn him over to Patches to have her reassure him of his "misunderstanding" and he ultimately just stands there looking helpless.  I really didn't know how to proceed here and just said "Don't worry about it...it was so nice to meet you." Then leaned in gave him a kiss and headed out. 

I was so disappointed and I suppose I could have just given him my number regardless and chalked the mistake to him being drunk...he had been drinking whiskey all night.  But I'm not that desperate.  Perhaps had he not been so adamant that he had the right number it would have ended differently.  I tried to save him from himself but it didn't fly.  I was so close to snagging a fireman (sort of  a little dream I've always had) and it all got fucked up.  I have decided though that if we go back there and I run into him again I wouldn't be opposed to giving it a second shot...so long as he avoids the whiskey.

Threes Company or A Crowd...

My last full day in Dublin was spent being a total girl with Smitch.  We walked around Grafton St. hopping in and out of dressing rooms, drooling over shoes and talking about guys.  For most of the day I was in a serious debate over whether or not we should invite Mark out for my last night in Ireland.  Sure, sure we had a really great time the night before but why spoil a good thing?  Plus after tonight I’d most likely never speak to him again…it’s not like this was love at first site and I was certainly not going to try and have a relationship that spans a fucking ocean…so was it worth the effort?

After an entire shopping day of debate we decide I’ll send an open invitation to Mark for the nights festivities.  Smitch and I decided on a code signal (the ever so slick ear pull) we would use in case either of us was so sick of Mark or the current scene we would use our escape plan and bail.  (I’m so totally optimistic.)  When we finally invite him out he shows up hes alone!!!!  Perhaps under other circumstances this wouldn’t have been too big of a deal but Smitch and I were looking forward to really rocking the town and Mark just made himself the third wheel.  Fail Mark, epic fail.

We try to make the best of it but Mark, in his corduroy pants, turtle neck and leather jacket looked more like he was going to a funeral then a club…the quiet, shy thing he was doing wasn’t helping either.  Smitch and I desperately wanted to get away but he was so fucking nice guilt kept getting the best of us.  While we were in the bathroom, in separate stalls, we were discussing what to do and all the girls that overheard us started chiming in telling us to ditch him since there are plenty of other men out there.  Oh the hilarity.  We eventually ended up back at Café en Seine in hopes that the awesome atmosphere of dancing, drinking and hot people would perk up Mark or at the very least we’d be able to successfully lose him in the crowd (evil I know).

Neither happened.  Smitch and I had a blast dancing our asses off on the dance floor while I tried in every way I knew how to perk up Mark.  I could tell that he was “trying” but I don’t know if the fact that he was sober (he was downing drinks like a champ I assume to loosen up…) or if perhaps this is just who he is was to blame for what seem like a complete lack of enthusiasm.

We eventually leave and for some drunken reason decide to try and head back to the same club that tried to charge us 10 Euros to get in the night before and being that we got there at the exact same time the same exact thing happened.  We didn’t want to go in.  Although, the walk there was totally worth it.  Smitch took my camera and started taking the most random fucking pictures ever of all the things I’ll “miss about Dublin”.  This involved me doing completely ridiculous hilarious poses with things like leaves, a pedicab driver, a mannequin and a christmas tree.  And best of all Mark suddenly woke the fuck up!!  He was laughing, participating, flirting…oh happy day!

The Juicy Details:  While it wasn’t nearly the make-out, flirt sesh I was hoping for I definitely had a nice time with Mark…even though I do wish it didn’t take him so long to at least seem like he was having a good time.  When it was time to say goodbye we shared a few great kisses and sadly parted ways.  Naturally we texted a bit more during the night and before I got on the plane the next morning I sent him my email and told him to keep in touch.  I know I will ever see him again but we have a exchanged a few emails which is sweet.  All in all I would say Ireland was a major success!!!  I’m already missing it like crazy!!!

Stay tuned for my post about the hot, yet stupid, fireman I met last Friday!  Also, I’m off to Boston for the weekend so hopefully I’ll have some fabulous stories about the men in Bean Town for you next week!!  

Mozzarella to Make-Out...

Long before I ever arrived in Dublin I had come to the  decision that this was not going to be a vacation filled with lazy days, nights that last till morning and an I don’t give a shit about fuck attitude on a daily basis.  Of course it wouldn’t be vacation without a few of those tossed in!  so as my week went on and I continued to indulge myself in all the sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touches Ireland could offer me I eagerly anticipated the weekend.  I knew debauchery would ensue then.

All week Smitch and I discussed trying to take a weekend trip being that I had spent every night of my vacation in Dublin…she thought it’d be great to spend some time in a brand new location.  We discussed everywhere from Galway which is supposed to be an insanely fun city for the younger crowd in Ireland down to Paris, London and Barcelona.  I swear at each mention of a new city my eyes widened, my jaw dropped closer to the floor and I’m sure I left a huge puddle of drool behind.  See once your over in Europe getting anywhere is a piece of cake…along with being insanely cheap as well.   For 11 Euros round trip and less than a 2hr flight you’d find yourself standing in beautiful London!!!  It felt like such a dream and my head was spinning from all the incredible possibilities.  I never want to leave this place!

Well in the long run we ended up staying in Dublin.  I know, sad face.  But before you go feeling bad for me it was my own decision.  After much thought and even after Smitch and I packed bags Thursday night I decided that I hadn’t really been able to full explore the Dublin nightlife and I couldn’t possibly leave Ireland without getting smashed in its most famous city.

In our typical fashion we decide our plan of attack would be a bar crawl.  Being that Smitch knows all the best places I knew I was in good hands…plus planning bar crawls happens to be a forte of hers so score for me!  As we hop around we try and decide which bar we can finally settle at and with each bar we go to we keep getting closer.  Finally we walk into Café en Seine and I knew it was the spot.  Huge, chic, two floors, hot guys and a dance floor…DONE!

As we grab drinks and make our way to the dance floor I spot two guys (one completely preppy and the other a total European), not together, and immediate point them out to Smitch.  I think it went something like “Oh wow those two guys are really hot…lets go dance over there!”  I was only hoping my skills were on cue and perhaps I’d grab the attention of at least one of them. 

Well let’s just say my skills did not let me down.  Before I knew it one of preppy guys friends came over and was dancing with Smitch and I.  The next thing I know this sketchy guy who was standing over by the wall, and I’m pretty sure was there alone, comes over to me and says in my ear “You are absolutely beautiful, seeing you has completely made my night…you know that guy over there (he points right at preppy) is totally into you and is jealous your dancing with his friend…lucky guy if you’re interested.”  WHAT?!?!  This guy had no idea who my preppy interest was but just couldn’t help himself and felt compelled to come over.  Needless to say, sketchy or not, I believed what he said and walked right over to preppy and said “So are you just going to stand there staring at me all night or are you actually going to dance?”

And from that moment it was on.  In between dancing and flirting we tried to get to know the basics…he was Mark, originally from Dublin and currently living in Australia working on increasing his clientele since he is a personal trainer and he was ridiculously sweet.  Now let me just lay this out there…he is a gorgeous Irish man with this amazing Aussie/Irish accent and he’s in amazing shape since he’s a trainer.  Fucking jackpot!!!  Just please wrap your head around this.

At one point Mark retreats to the bar to get a drink and I feel someone come up behind me and start dancing.  Normally this approach creeps me the fuck out, I hate when guys come up behind me and think it’s acceptable or enjoyable to rub their junk all up on my butt…if you want to get off go pleasure yourself in the bathroom don’t use my ass…but I digress.  I turned around thinking I’d find Mark there…but no…it was the European guy!!  Oh this couldn’t get any better if I wrote the script myself. 

Now had I been back home I probably would have tried to play both guys (a fault of my I want it all NY mentality) and see who was most entertaining but I caught Mark out of the corner of my eye and was still feeling him so I tore myself away from the hot Euro boy and went back to dancing with Mark.  Cue a bit more dancing and enter some delicious making out and I suddenly decide I’m bored.  I must have man-ADD .  Smitch and I decide its definitely time for a refill and on our way to the bar I spot the European.  In a split second I grab his hand and we are face to face.

We exchange hellos and after I tell him my name he says “Its very nice to meet you, I’m Marko.” SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  Lets just recap…I point out two hot, random guys on the dance floor upon arriving…I get to dance with both and have already kissed one…and now their names are Mark and Marko…what the fuck is going on here?!  I couldn’t help but laugh.

I try and pull it together as Marko is brushing the hair out my face and out of the corner of my eye I see Mark walk by and pray he didn’t see me.  Marko in the thickest Italian accent says to me “Are you Italian?”  “No.”  “Have you ever been to Italy?”  “No, but I’ve always wanted to go.” And before I knew it Marko had literally swept me off my feet and was carrying me towards the door as he declares “Letsa go-a now!!” oh Marko you Italian stud what I wouldn’t give to just get swept off to Italy but let’s not get too carried away.

We decide to head upstairs and as he’s grabbing my hand and leading the way up the stairs I walk right past and lock eyes with Mark!!!  I am immediately mortified!!!!  I couldn’t believe what was unfolding in front of me.  Who am I?  Go ahead and be jealous of this beautiful disaster. 

Marko and I try and talk for a bit as he questions if I know any words in Italian…so what does this genius come up with “Oh I know Facia!” Seriously??  He was almost as dumbfounded as I was that this was the first thing I said…of all the Italian words I know I blurt out facia.  Good God.  Then I tried to make a joke and say I know other words like “mozzarella” trying to use the best Italian accent I can muster up.  Well it must have worked because all of a sudden Marko grabs my face and starts kissing me.  Who knew mozzarella was foreplay.

Suddenly my man-ADD strikes again and I realize Marko is a bit too intense for me and I kind of miss Mark.  I scratch my ear to Smitch who has made friends with a group of people from South Africa who were all standing around taking pictures of Marko and I like the paparazzi.  Off we go to find Mark but the club is closing!!  NOOOOO!!  Then I catch a glimpse of Marks preppy hair…”There he is!”  I screeched to Smitch as I dart off after Mark.  Just as he is about to walk through the door I manage to grab his hand.

The Juicy Details:  First I will backtrack and mention that the miner actually did try and call me the next day.  I missed the call and never tried to follow up.  Hell I’m on vacay I don’t need to be tied down!  And now, for Mark.  As cruel fate would have it while I’m standing by the door figuring out our next move with Smitch and Mark, Marko walks by and tries to grab me.  And no I’m not even kidding.  I quickly try to dismiss him, tell him how lovely it was to meet him and dodged a kiss on the lips and swooped into the double cheek Euro kiss.  Mark, Smitch and I try to venture off to another club for late nights but they wanted to charge us 10 Euro even though they were closing in 45min. Bullshit.  So we venture back towards the city center for a cab.  Mark really wanted to come back with us but 1. I don’t feel right bringing random guys back to my friends apt and 2. I think she’d prefer I didn’t anyway.  He was staying with family since he lives in Australia now so basically that was good night.  We kissed bunches and I gave him my number (country code included!) and immediately we started texting.  He told me how much he wanted to be able to tuck me in and wasn’t ready to say good night.  The sweetness permeated through my phone.  I could easily see him again tomorrow if I wanted to but now I had to decide if I did.

Don't Forget the Country Code...

I stepped off the plane in Dublin and it all became real once I saw my very first stamp staring back at me from my passport.  Suddenly my life changed.  I was actually here.  I was on foreign soil.  I made it.  I did it.  I was proud, excited, relieved and just had a beaming smile on my face even though I was completely alone.  And it was weird…I was completely alone and yet I couldn’t have been happier.  I didn’t feel lonely, scared, nervous or anxious.  Well, perhaps I was a little anxious but not in that stressed out from anxiety kind of way but in that I cannot wait to start walking the streets of Dublin kind of way. 

Traveling to Europe was something I’ve wanted to do my whole life and I never took the opportunity…at first it was because I didn’t have the money…then when I finally did I was dating Shithead and it was like moving a glacier just to get him to take a day trip to Philly so leaving the country was out of the question.  And while he wouldn’t have stopped me from going without him, I never wanted to have huge experiences  like this without him.  I felt we were in a relationship and should do stuff like this together.  Idiot.  I’ll be honest that I spent a bit of time on the plane reflecting about everything that happened with Shithead.  A part of me still longing for the missed opportunities to share something like this with him.  I started to fear I was going to spend this entire trip reflecting on him and imaging what it would be like if he were there.  Then I quickly prayed to God my mind wouldn’t be such a fucking devil and torture me like that on such an expensive excursion.  Wouldn’t that be a complete goddamn shame? 

Anyway, I digress, here I was!!!  I was in Europe!!!  I hopped on the bus to head towards my friend’s apartment and about a million things were running through my head.  I wanted to video everything, photograph everything, see, taste and feel everything!  Sensory fucking overload I tell you.  It’s like a child who just got to Disney for the first time…their eyes are wide, their smiles huge and their excitement so great they can barely sit still.

After I met my friend, who I’d like to introduce you to…he name is Smitch and I’ve known her since high school.  We were part of a group of best friends who all happened to have a different variation of the same name, I kid you not, we all played sports and we were all inseparable.  Smitch moved to Dublin after college for post-grad and then got a job with an incredible company over there and has been living there ever since. 

So Smitch and I got back to her apartment and while I think she expected me to want to just pass out from the long trip over all I wanted to do was freshen up and get out in the city.  Smitch had to give a presentation at some conference so she walked me to the center of the city and left me to explore.  I’m not going to go into detail of my travels because after all this is a dating blog but I will tell you…given the opportunity go to Ireland.  My god, beautiful, friendly, fun…it’s an incredible place.  The more I walked the more I just felt like I completely belonged.  The men were adorable, hot, handsome…sigh, I miss them already.  And really…the accents just make it that much better (when you can actually understand them).

That we headed to a Halloween party…let me tell you Halloween in Ireland is so much more genuine then here in NYC.  People frown upon you if you go out and get a store bought costume.  Also, most girls do not dress like skanky sluts.  People get ridiculously creative and make, yes MAKE, their own costumes…from the obvious to the thought provoking I was extremely impressed.  So as I was making my way through the crowd a seriously sexy guy caught eyes with me.  He and a few of his friends were there dressed as Chilean miners…fucking awesome.

At this point I hadn’t given much if any thought to meeting a guy.  I was so caught up in making friends, taking in the atmosphere and still on my Holy Shit I’m in Ireland high that the idea of meeting someone just didn’t even occur to me.  “When you least expect it” as some would say.  From the second we caught eyes you could feel the attraction.  He made his way through the crowd over to me and we started talking.  I remember just swooning over his gorgeous eyes, great smile and praying to god I could understand his accent.  All was going well.  We were making our way around the party hand in hand as he introduced me to everyone he knew.  I broke away at one point to find Smitch and refill my glass…she and I were on our way to finishing our 4^th bottle of Rosé champagne at this point…like I really needed more??  Fuck it, I’m on vacation! 

She started questioning me about my Chilean miner find and when she asked what he did all I could remember was “he said he goes to the gym…” Whether or not that meant he was a personal trainer I could not tell you.  Frankly, I didn’t really give a shit either…I was all sorts of bubbly from being champagne drunk and lusting after my first Irish boy crush.

All of a sudden it was 3am and time for Smitch and I to head home which also meant saying good bye to my miner.  I was sad to go but I knew I still had 9 days left so this was only the beginning!!

The Juicy Details:   Through all the talking and flirting and drinking I hadn’t even though much about actually physically connecting with the miner.  What, how is that even possible?!?!  Well, once I realized the Cinderella hour was quickly approaching my instinct kicked in and I quickly locked eyes with the miner, grabbed his hands, slowly propped myself up on my toes as he wraps his hands around my face and we have the most delicious kiss.  Inside I felt a million butterflies…here I am, my first night in Ireland and I’m having the most amazing kiss…I couldn’t have ever planned something this awesome.  And from that point it was on…we just couldn’t stop kissing each other.  Each chance we had until the moment I had to leave we took full advantage.  I began to truly see the power of a kiss when with each one I felt a little more of the thoughts, the stress, the bullshit and whatever from home break away…it wasn’t complete but it was a damn good start. 

When I finally had to pull myself away the miner pulled out his phone…at this time I was patting myself on the back for putting a global plan on my blackberry before I left…and he asked me for my number.  Who would have guessed my very first night in Ireland a hot guy would be asking for my American number???  He hands me his phone and says “Why don’t you give me your number and maybe I can show you the city…oh and Don’t forget the country code”  At that, I practically cracked up...I can honestly say I’ve never heard that before and I absolutely loved it.  I knew from that moment this trip was going to be epic.

Bittersweet Return...

Good Morning everyone!!!  I'm pleased(???) to tell you that I have returned back to good old NYC.  The way I feel after taking this trip is hard to put into words.  Its hard to even decide where to begin.  From the moment I got on the plane to the second I stepped back onto American soil this experience turned out to be so much more then I expected.  I feel changed in some of the most obvious and yet most subtle ways.


I'm working on a couple of entries (in between catching up with family, friends, at work, on facebook and on all of your blogs...I missed soo much!!!) I'm going to try and get up in the next couple of days to fill you in on all The Juicy Details of the trip and there are plenty...so sit tight because I promise it will be worth the wait!!!

Time to Fly...

Oh Halloween, how I love you!!!  I dont really get people who don't absolutely adore this holiday!  There is something so refreshing and wonderful about the fall...and then you throw in pumpkins, candy and COSTUMES...come on its just magical. 


For the first time ever I'm going to be missing Halloween here in the good old USA.  I'm devastated...sort of.  You see at 7pm tonight I will be on board a direct flight to Dublin, Ireland!!!!  So this year I will be celebrating Halloween with the Irish =)  I hope they bring their A-game.


I'm going to be visiting a friend of mine from high school who has been living in Dublin for a few years now.  She went there for grad school then got a job with fucking Google!!!  Who is cooler then her?  Yeah, I'm completely jealous of her life as I'm sure you are too.  I'll be over there for 9 days and I can't begin to explain my excitement.


I've never been out of the country before (I dont feel like cruises count) so this is a big thing for me.  I'm flying alone which I'm not worried about and during the day I'll be taking a bunch of day tours around the country to entertain myself while my friend is at work.  I just hope people talk to me.  As Patches told me the other day "you'd talk to a wall if you had to"...so we all know me starting a conversation isn't an issue...I just want people to talk back.  Damn it!!  I'm sure they will because as I hear people tend to enjoy meeting others while they travel...plus I need a buddy to take pictures of me while I bend over backwards and kiss the Blarney Stone!


I will give you a heads up that while there unfortunately will be no new posts until I get back.  In my  travels I will hopefully be meeting some delicious Irish men with wonderful accents who will give me loads of things to write about when I return!  


Till then...I hope you all rock out this weekend for Halloween...kiss a hot vampire, goblin, or costumed creature of your choice!!  Slán go fóill (Bye for now)

 

Mix Well, Let Simmer...

They say good things come to those who wait…and I waited…and man were things oh-so-good.  Two long weeks which included a crap ton of social obligations, even more personal errands, one miserable experience and a make-myself-feel-better shopping excursion of epic proportions went by before I saw Sauce again.  A BBM chat about nothing of any significance turned into me driving over to his apartment looking forward to finding comfort and distraction with him. 

As usual Sauce came outside to meet me when I got there, which I find to be such a gentleman-like thing to do, and plants the sweetest kiss on me as we hug hello…Hellooo to you too Sauce ;)  We sit on the couch side by side…for some reason no matter how much room we have we always sit practically on top of each other.  Sauce has this sweet way of draping his hand over my leg when we are sitting and chatting…its such a subtle, gentle way of making contact and letting me know I’m on his mind and I’m not gonna lie, I totally adore it.  Then he starts asking me about what happened at work because he wants to know who he needs to kill for fucking with his girl (don’t misread that for girlfriend…he just means a girl he cares about)  So, I tell him just enough and its nice to talk to him because he’s wonderful at listening but I make sure not to say too much since him being a former Marine (girls, you’ve got to see this guy in uniform) and a current cop I fear he would actually hurt someone who wronged me given the opportunity.  No joke.  I find no reason to add fuel to his fire.  Once all that is out of the way we are just relaxing watching tv and the next thing I know Sauce says “So how long do I have to wait for you to kiss me?”  And before I even have an opportunity to answer its game on!!

He pulls me from my spot on the couch over to him and before I know it my legs are wrapped around his waist, his arms are around mine and we are almost instantly hot and breathing deeply.  I swear to god this man turns me on like no other.  I’ve known him since I was 16 and this has never changed.  So there we are just taking in every moment of every kiss.  The next thing I know he’s standing up with me still wrapped around him and carries me to his room.  I have never felt so light (he carried me like I weighed 2lbs) and desired (who knew a guy carrying you to bed is just as hot as it seems in the movies).

Now we are just rolling around on the bed like high school kids making out like the world depended on it.  All the while our clothes are all on, our hands are behaving and yet we are sweating, panting and incapable of stopping.  Once in a while we pause to smile, lock eyes and take in what’s happening.  He mentions at one point how he’s been chasing me forever and can’t believe we are here in this moment right now.  And I’ll be honest, I couldn’t either.

I don’t think I have ever been as turned on as I was that night just from kissing in such innocent ways.  Perhaps the innocence of being completely clothed and knowing we weren’t going to sleep together helped make it as steamy as it was.  I can’t even imagine what it would be like if we ever actually rip each other’s clothes off and proceed to devour each other bit by bit.  I’d never forget that night, that’s for sure.

The Juicy Details:  The few times either of us actually said anything Sauce managed to sneak in there how much he wanted me to spend the night.  It put such a smile on my face each and every time he said it.  At one point while we were finally catching our breaths and our limbs were all tangled we both fell asleep.  I could have stayed there till forever.  It felt so comfortable, so sweet, so exactly what I needed…but I decided it would be best for me to go home…but not before Sauce had the chance to strike up a very interesting conversation.  He said to me how he thinks this could be really great…and naturally I agreed.  But then put him on the spot a little and said…”this what...us making out?”  he says “well yeah but more than that just us spending time together.”…my heart literally stopped.  He then tells me he wants to see me as much as possible (which for us isn’t too much because of our schedules which I’ve told you about before)…and that he wants to take things slow and see where they go.  So to make sure I’m not delusional and dreaming and making shit up in my head (I’ve been known to do this) I clarify…”see where they go how?  You mean like dating?”  Sauce: “Yeah”  Deep breath.  Certainly part of me was thinking this may happen based on our past conversations but the other half, the part with the logic and the strength thought it was a ridiculous notion…him wanting to date me.  But no, apparently it wasn’t ridiculous. 

I will just clarify that I do not consider us exclusive, hell I don’t even consider us to be dating at this point.  We will hang out and see what happens.  I have no expectations whatsoever.  In fact, I feel like he’ll just forget about the conversation and that will be that.  (just an fyi we were both stone cold sober when all this happened)  I don’t know it just all seems too easy and a part of me is apprehensive, nervous….terrified.  I still don’t know what I want, but I’m not going to pass this up.  It’s wonderful that we’ll take it slow because it will give me, hopefully, enough time to figure this and myself out.  I’m actually going away for 9 days tomorrow and will (fingers crossed) see Sauce tonight before I go…and lets hope while I’m gone he doesn’t miraculously meet someone else squashing this entire thing before it really even began.  Damn it bad timing!!!

But anyway, ladies and gentlemen….Sauce just got spicy!!! ;-)

PS - I would just like to enlighten you all about a little something I learned from Sauce that night...he would gently pull down my bottom lip and kiss/lick the inside of it...it sounds weird and seemed insane at first...but then i realized it was amazing...I dont know if there are a bunch of nerve endings in there or something but wow!!!  Go, try this now.  Your welcome.