Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Waiting...Not Winning

A very unhappy hump day to all!

Sorry for the less then stellar greeting but I'm not exactly in the best of moods at the moment.  I'm frustrated.  I'm irritated.  I'm so sick of fucking dating.

I'm considering giving up on online dating.  I haven't been all that "dedicated" to it recently like I was and no good has come of it yet (I don't consider an extremely long string of first dates good!)

I'm just in a shit thanks to the weather...or the three...thats right THREE people I know who got engaged in the past week..OR the fact that I haven't heard from the Rival since Friday.  I know that not a terribly long time and I know no matter how many other excuses I can make thats really whats bugging me at the moment...but despite all that not seeing his name pop up on my phone in almost a week has gotten under my skin.  Yes, it was one date so I'm not hung up on him...just more wondering why he's gone MIA...stupid jerk.

I know I could probably just bite the bullet and contact him myself...but there is something to be said about the guy making the effort.  And I was the last one to text so "technically" it was his turn to reply.  Oh what to do!!!!

This all sounds completely fucking ridiculous as I type it...makes me want to vomit on my keyboard actually.  Frankly I hate these stupid fucking dating games and don't want to take part in them.  I just want to meet someone and skip this other crap and go right to spending lazy mornings in bed.  Can we make that happen??

So I don't know what I'm going to do...or should do, what the fuck there isn't really any "shoulds" in dating...but yeah, can't decide.  I have a feeling that if I text something fun and clever he'll respond...then I'll spend the next day or so kicking myself for being so impatient and not waiting to see if he was going to text me on his own (which undoubtedly kicks way more ass then me taking initiative)...then again is it impatient if I haven't heard from him in 4 days.  But then if I don't text him I subject myself to being caught up in my own head until either I do actually hear from him or something new and shiny passes my eyes.  Naturally there is the possibility he's changed his mind and "is just not that into me", which is cool...he's probably covering at least half that book right now...not asking me out, not sleeping with me, not whatever the fuck else he should be doing...but knowing that doesn't make me enjoy this dating shit any more.

Funny thing is that even if I did hear from him I couldn't see him till next week anyway since I'm completely booked till then. makes you dumb!!!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Dancing with the Devil

I have about one third of the post done for Mexico.  I keep talking about it and not delivering.  There are reasons.  I have them explained in that post.  Kind of.  I also need to tell you about the debacle that was Gryph’s 30th Birthday…god he’s fucking old.  And whats worse is that he keeps complaining he can’t hang like he used to..this is a project I personally plan to tackle!!!  My apologies to all you senior citizens who are currently 30+…don’t worry, my sorry ass will be there one day.

Today, I want to take the time to tell you about my date last night aka Wednesday night since I actually started writing this yesterday. It’s the first date I’ve been on in quite a while so I was bubbling with all sorts of feelings.  While I never get nervous about a date a part of me felt anxious wondering if it’d be like riding a bike or if I was going to sit there fidgeting and fumbling for things to say.

One day while “virtually speed dating”…you know when your mindlessly browsing profiles online and half paying attention, half drooling over pictures and half drowning yourself in wine…I passed by a profile of a guy who seemed like he had potential.  He looked like my type from his pictures and from what I grazed over in his novella of a profile he seemed to be confident and perhaps even a little cocky which was coming off as slightly attractive, fun and passionate.  I didn’t read everything because he wrote A LOT and I wasn’t in the mindset to actually contact anyone so I made a mental note to revisit. 

You know, writing a lot in your profile can work as an advantage or a disadvantage for people.  You’re being detailed and specific and really putting yourself out there so essentially you are preventing people from wasting their time (and yours) because your saying what they need to know up front.  On the other hand you may get passed over because people have the attention span of gnats and won’t stay focused past your first two sentences and before they get to the part where you enthusiastically tell them to “Message Me!!!” they are already on to the next profile with big muscles or Victoria Secret cleavage. 

Point in case…I figured on a day when I was motivated I’d come back and check him out again since he had certainly caught my eye but I was not making any effort to conquer this mountain now.  Well as luck would have it he contacted me.  Woo! Don’t you just love when a man contacts you?? (I’d venture to guess a guy would get just as excited about a girl writing him?)  I should have guessed based on his profile that his message would be awesome…not only was it good though…it was really funny and clever.  He picked up on a couple of the ridiculous things I put in my profile about how I might have been a pirate because of how much I love rum….and how snuggling is my kryptonite…oh and that I’m obsessed with chocolate milk.  The title: “Pirate or Superwoman???”

The message:

I'm debating which one you might be... I mean, if snuggling is your kryptonite, then you may have met your match and I'm like Lex Luther to you. If you're a pirate, then I'm hiding my chocolate milk for safe keeping.

(Note: totally had to look up Lex Luther…)

Its so simple, yet it completely did the trick.  I really appreciate when someone takes the time to write more then “Hi. How are you?” ….how am I? Well, at the moment I’m confused as to why the fuck you think those 4 words are going to make me want to reply to you.  Harsh?  Perhaps, but lets be honest if this message is any indication of his motivation to be on the dating scene (which I find they typically are) then I’ll pass.  I believe that people who make a little extra effort when they contact you tend to be more serious and interested in actually meeting you and finding someone they care about.

But enough about that.  After a few emails back and forth we discover we work in the same industry and he eventually suggests drinks and we exchange numbers.  During a conversation about football I find out his team is the Cleveland Browns (he grew up there)…his second team is NYG so we’re still good, thankfully…and I made mention that I could totally rock a Browns jersey since my schools colors were Brown & White.  So naturally he asks where I went and when I tell him he responds…”I don’t think we can talk anymore.  I went to a better school.”  I nearly dropped my phone while I typed back…”Please don’t tell me you went to Lafayette.”  And the motherfucker did!!!  Ohhh this is going to be EPIC!!!

Our schools have the most played and longest uninterrupted rivalry in college football in the nation (as of 2005, 141 matchups, and played at least once every year since 1897).  It’s seriously incredible.  And the distaste for the rival is instilled in you from the moment you open your acceptance letter.  From the quality of the education (mine is better as per US News Rankings..thankyouverymuch.) to sports and everything in between.  Its fierce and I loved every minute of it.  So naturally the trash talking started immediately between the Rival and I and hasn’t stopped since.  He mentioned how much fun this will be during football season especially during the yearly game we play and my god is he right.  If we’re still hanging out at that point It. Is. ON!! Like Donkey Kong.  Him AND his school are going DOWN!!!

Fast forward to Wednesday night when we actually meet.  He arrives as I’m pulling on my boot in the driver’s seat of my car (I hate driving in heels) and I can see he’s tall, definitely cute, well dressed, and built…swoon.  Visually we like so far.  We go and find a table on the completely empty roof deck and order beers.  He orders one called the Raging Bitch simply because he likes the name…I fully support this.  So we drink, we chat, we berate each other for the piss poor educational experience the other received and its going really well. He mentioned how he’s looking for the trifecta in a woman…brains, personality, beauty…yes, yes aren’t we all.  And that he’s not rushing into anything and really wants to become friends first…respectable.

Anyway, we eventually order nachos…which I warned him I couldn’t eat due to Holy Week restrictions (no meat/dairy/oil…thank you Greek Orthodox Church) but totally gave him the go ahead to order and I picked out the chips which escaped the cheesy beefy goodness we all love about nachos.  Rival was a totally piggy and a part of me kind of liked it…his lack of concern for how he looked scarfing down the nachos and making a bit of a mess made me smile since he must have felt somewhat comfortable around me to just dive in like that or he just doesn’t give a shit what people think.  Hell I totally would have joined him if it wasn’t for fasting.  Uuggghh religion!!

At one point as I was asking questions about his family…his siblings ages to be specific…when he comments “wow, you really wanna know all the details huh? I didn’t know I was on an interview.”   To which I naturally had to chuckle because truth is Rival…you kinda are.  I mean the name of this blog was born out of the fact that dates are exactly like interviews.  But to avoid a debate after scoffing at him for thinking a question like that was detailed I simply said not exactly and offered to stop asking about “specifics” if he preferred.  He didn’t which clearly just meant he was being a ball buster…what an ass.

Once the chill was too much for us, our coats and our beers to handle we headed inside.  The second floor of the bar has these extremely comfy leather couches off in a corner, a big dance floor and a huge bar.  The entire thing was empty…all the bar stools were up on the bar, the lights were dim and it was completely quiet.  So we settled onto the couches and continued talking and laughing.  At one point I stood up to jump on the couch since we were talking about how squishy it was and how perfect it would be for jumping but once he realized I was serious Rival stopped me since he was afraid I’d hurt myself and he didn’t want to go to the ER on a first date…ugh whimp. 

Then he mentions how he started taking salsa lessons a week ago.  So he is now an ex-football player, with 3! Masters, owns his own condo, amongst many other fabulous things…who willingly signed up for salsa lessons since he thinks it’s a “good idea to learn how to dance”.  Yeah, my thoughts exactly.  So, I challenge him to show me what he’s learned.  And to my surprise and complete joy he stands up, grabs my hand and we head over to the open area and start dancing.  No music, no people…just us and me counting 1,2,3…5,6,7.  Let me tell you the boy can move…he even demonstrated a little booty shake for me (and commented on how he’s got a butt but he’s totally comfortable with it HAHAHA).  It can’t even tell you how awesome this was…plus is there anything sweeter then feeling a guys hand on the small of your back??  It was also really cute how he was yelling at me for leading…that’s right boy, take charge!  When you can let your guard down, do something a little crazy and really be goofy with someone you can connect with them in such different ways then when you’re just on opposite sides of a table shooting get-to-know-you facts back and forth.

Eventually it was getting late and being we both get into work when the rooster crows we decided to call it at night.  We’d already been together about 5hrs at this point so it wasn’t the worst thing to wrap up.

When we got out to my car he immediately says what a good time he had and that we should definitely dance together again soon…then made some other reference about dancing or something which implied sex as a joke which made me blush so badly because I couldn’t think of anything snarky enough to reply and just stood there wide eyed and red.  After getting a good laugh at me he grabbed me, hugged me and gave me a bunch of kisses on the cheek.  The fucking cheek!?!?!?  Just inch your lips over slightly and meet mine please.  I know he was being a gentleman and perhaps he was nervous or maybe he just likes to keep you guessing and anticipating.  Who knows?  All I know is that I wanted to be kissed so now I really want a second date just to make that happen! 

Ps- he just texted me a picture of a bottle of chocolate milk…and it’s from Wawa…which he is about to learn is my most favorite place ever!!!!  Plus one for the Rival.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Welcome Guest!!!

My motivation recently for anything other then Zumba has been fairly limited.  Trying to get my routines down, go on auditions and get my classes started has been nothing short of exhausting.  My entire body hurts right now...I have shin splints and sore muscles.  I am in great shape but doing hours and hours a night of Zumba is not normal and now I suffer.

On top of that I pretty much partied myself sick.  No not hangover sick but like sinus infection sick.  No sleep with lots of drinking, dancing and not eating much will actually run you down...where is my college tolerance...what the fuck.

Anyway, I owe you all some amazing stories from Mexico as well as my recent adventures during a Bachelorette party (which involves a Bachelor from London) and a 30th Birthday for Gryph in the Poconos.  

In the meantime, I leave you with a guest post which is delayed since our fabulous poster had a brain fart and forgot to send it to me when he was supposed to.  Because I love him and his blog (I've never met him so its a blog crush obvi) I forgive him & want to share the post with you anyway.

The blogger is Jeremy from Dear ExGirlfriend.  The format for his blog is super creative and seriously entertaining since he basically writes letters to girls he dates recounting the date, how he felt, how he think she felt and so on.  Its great insight into a guys mind post date and you get a really great feel of what a funny, sincere and sweet man he well as how he is genuinely just as clueless about dating as the rest of us.  Its truly refreshing because I feel too many people try and act like experts and gives all these rules, guidelines, tips and tricks for dating but the fact is none of us know what the fuck we're doing.  We go out there and bullshit our way through until we have that ah-ha moment when we say "oh ok, this is cool...this is working" with someone. And then you get to navigate a relationship...woo!

Anyway, thank you to Jeremy for being so real...I heart it and appreciate & I know you all will too!  So, enjoy his post and make sure you hop on over and check out his blog after!!

"some people play hard to get. i play hard to want."

Dear Katie,
We went on a few dates this fall, and immediately two things were extremely clear to me: 1. you are a tease and 2. you like to play ‘the game.’  I’ll forgive you for item #1, after all 98% of females I know are teases on some level.  In fact, most of you don’t even know you are doing it consciously so it’s not as if I can actually blame you.  Although next time you are on a THIRD date with someone who buys you an expensive dinner and takes you to a romantic comedy he didn’t want to see (starring Justin effing Long), AND you bring up how much you enjoy a good make out session…don’t act all shocked and awed when he tries to kiss you goodnight.  Ok, now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s move on to the game…

It’s actually hard for me to describe the game, because not only do I not play it, I don’t even really know how to play it if I wanted to.  Why is that, you might ask?  I don’t even know what the effing game is.  What I do know is that I apparently suck at it.  How do I know this? You told me so.

Before I forget I must thank you for being extremely informative, even if you were kind of a bitch about it.

I promise I wasn't 
even going to open my mouth...
Photo Courtesy of

After the first couple times we went out, I realized that I was definitely into you, and unfortunately I made that too clear.  I did not text/email/call/facebook chat/gchat you 17 times a day, or anything remotely along those lines.  Instead, after it had been a week or so since we hung out I said, “You know I had a really good time hanging out with you last week, I’d like to take you on more of a date date this weekend…dinner and a movie, or something like that.”  So, we went to dinner and a movie…where the story from the first paragraph about me buying you dinner, you talking about how much you like making out, etc etc, may or may not have happened.

That was the last time we hung out.  It had nothing to do with me being overly-aggressive (in your terms) by trying to kiss you goodnight.  Forwhat it’s worth, I’ll tell you my mindset again – we had been out three times, it was a brightly lit parking lot with other people leaving the movie, all I wanted was to give you a quick kiss on the lips; I wasn’t going to ram my tongue down your throat.  But that wasn’t it, apparently I played my cards too early, you told me.  I made it obvious that I enjoyed your company, simply by telling you that I, in fact, enjoyed your company.  There was no chase in it for you.  I should’ve played hard to get, or something like that.

Anyway, as much as I enjoyed our few dates, I’m glad you told me that; because no offense, I would never want to spend too much time with someone who has that mindset.  I don’t think you are a bad person or anything, like I said before, ‘the game’ just isn’t for me.  I tell people how I feel, not in an overly melodramatic way, but the same rule applies: if I like you, I like you.  I’m going to want to hang out because I enjoy hanging out with you; I’m not going to sit on my hands and pretend I don’t so you somehow like me more.
Of course, if I don’t get laid anytime soon I might have to change my ways.  Kidding, I promise.

Hope you win your next ‘game,’

Player ( get it – like, ‘don’t hate the player hate the game…)

*The Adventures of Ford Fairlane – yup, I quoted an Andrew Dice Clay movie.

Friday, April 1, 2011

"Love Begins With L"

Don't get fooled by the title...I'm not in love!  I'm not even in like...with someone I've actually met yet anyway...but thats a story for another post.

Anyway, I was supposed to get this up yesterday and in an epic fail I didn't.  The day completely got away from me and before I knew it Patches and I were the last two people in the gym at 11pm and nearly got locked in...can you even imagine?!?!?!

So onto the post...I was contacted by this company L. (a condom company) about sharing a campaign they released on their site yesterday.  After reading through their site and the campaign I thought what they are trying to do is interesting, intriguing and something which affects the entire world.  The company addresses one of the worlds most troubling issues HIV and AIDS while trying to empower women, educate on family planning and potentially help decrease poverty.  Pretty awesome.  

I know this is not what you would expect me to be writing about but as a dating blog two aspects of dating are love and sex and the scary truth is that all it takes is one time with one person combined with you not being careful for your entire life to change.  

Also, I think the women on this site seem to completely have their stuff together and this is completely in spite of a man...that is also an extremely relevant example for girls who are dating.  Relationships are wonderful and beautiful and love is a precious gift, however, you don't   need a man to be successful, to be happy or to make waves in the world.

Before I go on a rant let me stick to the topic on hand...

Here is their statement about what L. is:

"L. is a new social enterprise that makes doing good sexy. It's a condom company with a cause: to empower women globally by supporting the human right to safe sex. For every condom you purchase, one is distributed in a developing country. You can learn more about the company here: Love Begins with L "

With their buy one, give one philosophy (I just totally made that up...thats good stuff right their, marketing genius if you ask me, hey L. you should hire me!) L. says on its site that if they were to "represent 5% of the condom market we can serve the needs of three countries with the highest prevalence rate."  That is a beautiful thing but one must remember you can give a person a lifetime supply of condoms but that doesn't mean they are going to use it.  There are guys I know who refuse to wear condoms even being extremely well educated on all the risks.  

To L. :  as you know, the education aspect of what you are doing is more important than any woman you may interview, any number of condoms you may give out or how green your product is (although I am personally appreciative and impressed by your environmental sustainability efforts!).  Even more important than that, in my opinion, is motivation.  You can educate and supply people but these tools are worthless unless people want to use them.  What would be enough to make an individual want to be protected...if it's not the threat of HIV/AIDS or an unwanted pregnancy or the threat of poverty...would it be something else?  Maybe the flip side...perhaps the motivation would be found in the promise of a future, a job or a multitude of other things.  Everyone is motivated by something...just got to figure out what that is in this case.

Sorry, I got a little off track for a onto L.'s campaign...finally...

For every day of March, women's month, L. met a women representative of the kind of love that rocks the world hard enough to change it. On the 31st, they introduced the 31 women who inspired them on their site. Each women supports the movement to make safe sex a human right. As you click on each woman's photo you are brought to her page where you can read a little blurb about her (some of these women lead seriously impressive lives) along with her answer to 3 questions around the power of love to change the world.

You can get inspired at: L31

I hope you take some time to look at a few of these women and check out their site.  Disclaimer:  Just so you know I am not getting paid for this and I don't know a soul who works for this company.  I got contacted by them, checked them out and decided it was worth sharing.  I hope you agree!!