Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Practice Squad or Starting Line Up...

When I was in high school and trying to decide where to go to college I suddenly developed this disdain for Boston.  I can’t tell you where it came from, when it started or why.  All I know is I would talk shit about Boston any time someone brought it up or asked me if I applied to any schools there.  My family and I had gone to visit the city and I know I enjoyed it and I believe I may have been there on a school trip at some point and enjoyed that too.  So why hate Boston?  Typical New Yorker perhaps...its simply in my blood?  I would say to anyone who would listen…”Boston is a nice place to visit once or twice and leave but I would absolutely never live there.”  It may have been because it seemed like everyone else was doing it and I had to be different or maybe I actually believed that at the time.

A couple of years ago on a long weekend trip to Boston I quickly changed my tune.  Suddenly I was in love with Boston.  I kept saying I wanted to go back and just never took the opportunity.  Finally one presented itself to me.  A friend of mine from college went to BC and wanted to go to the last game of the season.  Did someone say road trip?!?!

I had never experienced the nightlife in Boston so I was really excited to see what it had to offer.  I wasn’t anticipating meeting any guys being that it just didn’t seem like it would be that kind of weekend and besides we were going to watch college football and I was not about to hook up with a college boy.

We arrived at the hotel pretty late Friday night, checked in, chugged a beer and headed to the bar…we’ve got priorities.  Actually, the band two of my friends booked for their wedding happened to be playing at a bar nearby so we all wanted to go check them out and get a preview for the wedding.

The second we walked in the bar my jaw nearly hit the floor.  First the ratio of guys to girls was completely in my favor and second they were all hot.  Is this even possible?!?!  I was having a hard time finding a bad looking guy there.  On top of it the band sounded awesome, the atmosphere was totally chill but yet completely rocking…I knew it was going to be a good night. 

At one point I was leaning against a table, enjoying my beer and the sights while my friends were off buying another round when I found myself staring at this gorgeous guy.  I saw him hop up on the stage earlier to dance with the band and made a comment that he was really cute and looked really fun.  Now that he was right in front of me it was all confirmed.  He was dancing with this really pretty girl and I just stood by and watched…all the while silently judging what a terrible dancer she was.  Yeah fuck you, I’m a girl, I’m allowed to be jealous judgmental.  Honestly though I really enjoyed looking at him but I wasn’t exactly in the mood to try and get his attention.  So I just continued to stand by, drinking my beer and minding my own business.

Next thing I knew he was standing in front of me grabbing my hand!!  What just happened??  How did I go from aloof to center of the dance floor without knowing it.  I’ve never been one to turn down the opportunity to dance so after a brief, empty hearted protest I let loose.  I’m actually a really good dancer (one of the only things I’ll ever boast about) so I was excited to show him what I’ve got.

We had some serious chemistry on the dance floor.  I almost never enjoy dancing with a guy because most of the time all they want to do is grind your ass or just sway side to side with your legs intertwined and frankly its boring and intrusive on my dance space…this guy was different.  We were having a blast.  Then he leans in and with his massive hands (a direct quote from my friend about his hands…”Ive never shook the hand of another man who actually made mine feel small”) grabs my face and plants a kiss on me!!!  This was almost exactly like Casanova from the Frying Pan.  What is it with men and kissing me without permission?  I don’t even know why I don’t get upset about it…their hotness fucks up my better judgment.  Oops.  Well then he puts his lips next to my ear and tells me how gorgeous I am and what an incredible body I have.  Well, thank you so much …keep it coming, after all what girl doesn’t love compliments?  Before I could even say thank you he has his hands under my arms and lifts me up above his head like I’m a toy.  Not only did this make me feel amazing but it just upped him on the sexy scale like 100 times.  Any guy that can pick up a girl like that you know is not only strong but can totally take control…its undeniably sexy.  Picking me up soon turned into his favorite thing to do...I have no idea why but he just couldn't get enough.  So weird.

As I beg him to put me down before we look like a complete spectacle my hands rub against his and I realize how rough and calloused they are.  I ask him if he’s a contractor since his hands are so rough and he immediately tells me no.  So the conversation progressed a little like this…

“Well what is it that you do that your hands are so rough?  Do you go to the gym a lot”  (well fucking duh, he’s the size of a car of course he does)


“Oh cool, so what is it that you do exactly?”

“I play sports”

“Oh that’s fun, what sports do you play?”


“That’s awesome, I love football.  So is it like a league or anything like that”

“Um yeah its something like that”

“Ok…so what position do you play?”

“Linebacker”  (no surprise there…remember the size of a car comment)

“Nice! Go D!...So are you from Boston?”

“Nope, Philly.”  (after which I immediately step back with my hands in the air and a look of disgust on my face…I’m a Giants fan so anyone from Philly is a big no no.)

“Oh god no…so does that mean you’re an Eagles fan?!”

“Yeah something like that.  Why?”

“I’m from NY”  (he presents me with an equally disgusted look like the one I just gave him…this is going well)

“Oh don’t tell me you’re a Giants fan…”

“Yes I am and just wait till we kick some Eagles ass on Sunday!!”  (he proceeds to roll his eyes at me)

In an attempt to change the topic to something less sensitive I go back to asking him what he does professionally….

“So what did you say you do?”

“I play football…”

“I know you said that….wait, you mean professionally?”

“Yeah something like that…”  (ugh stop being vague!)

“For who?”

“um, well i'm from Philly…”

“Shut up…you play for the Eagles?!?”

“Well, I practice with them sometimes.”

And he just looks at me smiling.  Then he squeezes my hand, kisses my face and leans into my ear and whispers to tell me what his real name actually is then walks away.  What a tease!!! 

The Juicy Details:  I head back over to join my friends and gush about what a hottie he was.   A little while later I was heading to the bar to grab a beer and run into my linebacker…almost literally.  He was being escorted out of the bar and had his phone out in his hand and was apparently trying to find me before they forced him out.  He wanted my number.  So I walk with him as I type and then he kisses me goodbye while a bouncer was holding his arm.  We were texting a bit until my friends and I left to head back to our hotel.  Next thing I know my phone is ringing and it’s the linebacker.  He was begging me to come to his hotel and that I should bring my friend (who is also single) because he wanted to hang out with me.  I wasn’t giving in.  Yes, it would have made for an incredible, juicy blog post and a wonderful story but I was tired and I wasn’t about to be a booty call.  His friend got on the phone to try and convince me as well and I took the opportunity to verify the Eagles story.  His friend said he was on the practice squad and that it was no big deal.  Interesting.  I politely declined the invite and asked if he would be around tomorrow.  He said he needed to get back to Philly for the game on Sunday so he’d be leaving bright and early.  Bummer.  Even still we were texting on Saturday and both expressing how disappointed we were we couldn’t meet up…he called me trying to see me again before he left but he was near Harvard, I was near BC and there just wasn’t enough time.  Our night of dancing and making out was going to have to be enough.  Plus I firmly believe when you meet someone in those circumstances very rarely is a second encounter ever nearly as good as the first.

On Sunday when my friends and I were watching the Giants game I was telling them about the linebacker.  One of my friends decided to google his name and position and see what came up.  Well folks, not only does he practice for them, but he is part of their starting line up!!!  No wonder he was down playing everything...Oh and he caught the final interception to officially end the game so now I have to hate him…kind of.  


  1. I totally know who you made out with! Well, I don't know him personally, but I remember the play. I'll keep his name off of here in case that was your intention, but well done!

  2. This story is insane. But this:

    "Plus I firmly believe when you meet someone in those circumstances very rarely is a second encounter ever nearly as good as the first."

    So true.

  3. Since I am from Philly and watch the Eagles I am pretty sure I know who you are talking about as well. I am not really a football fan so no team rivalry would keep me from hooking up with a hottie. :-)
    Glad you had fun.

  4. Hutch - that play made me crazy!!! I had sent him a text at the beginning of the game to talk shit about his team and then he had to go and have a great game and made me eat my words...soo frustrating!!! But thanks, I'm pretty proud of this one ;-)

    Anna - after many trials and errors I have found that this is a steadfast truth. Disappointing, but true.

    Jewels - I couldn't let it stop me either...it was fun to tease each other about...but if you know who I'm talking about there was NO way I could allow a football rivalry to let this hottie slip through my fingers!!!

  5. That's an awesome story! Love it. And please tell me what bar in Boston you were at - maybe I should start hanging out there. ;) Have you heard from him since?


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