Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mozzarella to Make-Out...

Long before I ever arrived in Dublin I had come to the  decision that this was not going to be a vacation filled with lazy days, nights that last till morning and an I don’t give a shit about fuck attitude on a daily basis.  Of course it wouldn’t be vacation without a few of those tossed in!  so as my week went on and I continued to indulge myself in all the sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touches Ireland could offer me I eagerly anticipated the weekend.  I knew debauchery would ensue then.

All week Smitch and I discussed trying to take a weekend trip being that I had spent every night of my vacation in Dublin…she thought it’d be great to spend some time in a brand new location.  We discussed everywhere from Galway which is supposed to be an insanely fun city for the younger crowd in Ireland down to Paris, London and Barcelona.  I swear at each mention of a new city my eyes widened, my jaw dropped closer to the floor and I’m sure I left a huge puddle of drool behind.  See once your over in Europe getting anywhere is a piece of cake…along with being insanely cheap as well.   For 11 Euros round trip and less than a 2hr flight you’d find yourself standing in beautiful London!!!  It felt like such a dream and my head was spinning from all the incredible possibilities.  I never want to leave this place!

Well in the long run we ended up staying in Dublin.  I know, sad face.  But before you go feeling bad for me it was my own decision.  After much thought and even after Smitch and I packed bags Thursday night I decided that I hadn’t really been able to full explore the Dublin nightlife and I couldn’t possibly leave Ireland without getting smashed in its most famous city.

In our typical fashion we decide our plan of attack would be a bar crawl.  Being that Smitch knows all the best places I knew I was in good hands…plus planning bar crawls happens to be a forte of hers so score for me!  As we hop around we try and decide which bar we can finally settle at and with each bar we go to we keep getting closer.  Finally we walk into Café en Seine and I knew it was the spot.  Huge, chic, two floors, hot guys and a dance floor…DONE!

As we grab drinks and make our way to the dance floor I spot two guys (one completely preppy and the other a total European), not together, and immediate point them out to Smitch.  I think it went something like “Oh wow those two guys are really hot…lets go dance over there!”  I was only hoping my skills were on cue and perhaps I’d grab the attention of at least one of them. 

Well let’s just say my skills did not let me down.  Before I knew it one of preppy guys friends came over and was dancing with Smitch and I.  The next thing I know this sketchy guy who was standing over by the wall, and I’m pretty sure was there alone, comes over to me and says in my ear “You are absolutely beautiful, seeing you has completely made my night…you know that guy over there (he points right at preppy) is totally into you and is jealous your dancing with his friend…lucky guy if you’re interested.”  WHAT?!?!  This guy had no idea who my preppy interest was but just couldn’t help himself and felt compelled to come over.  Needless to say, sketchy or not, I believed what he said and walked right over to preppy and said “So are you just going to stand there staring at me all night or are you actually going to dance?”

And from that moment it was on.  In between dancing and flirting we tried to get to know the basics…he was Mark, originally from Dublin and currently living in Australia working on increasing his clientele since he is a personal trainer and he was ridiculously sweet.  Now let me just lay this out there…he is a gorgeous Irish man with this amazing Aussie/Irish accent and he’s in amazing shape since he’s a trainer.  Fucking jackpot!!!  Just please wrap your head around this.

At one point Mark retreats to the bar to get a drink and I feel someone come up behind me and start dancing.  Normally this approach creeps me the fuck out, I hate when guys come up behind me and think it’s acceptable or enjoyable to rub their junk all up on my butt…if you want to get off go pleasure yourself in the bathroom don’t use my ass…but I digress.  I turned around thinking I’d find Mark there…but no…it was the European guy!!  Oh this couldn’t get any better if I wrote the script myself. 

Now had I been back home I probably would have tried to play both guys (a fault of my I want it all NY mentality) and see who was most entertaining but I caught Mark out of the corner of my eye and was still feeling him so I tore myself away from the hot Euro boy and went back to dancing with Mark.  Cue a bit more dancing and enter some delicious making out and I suddenly decide I’m bored.  I must have man-ADD .  Smitch and I decide its definitely time for a refill and on our way to the bar I spot the European.  In a split second I grab his hand and we are face to face.

We exchange hellos and after I tell him my name he says “Its very nice to meet you, I’m Marko.” SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  Lets just recap…I point out two hot, random guys on the dance floor upon arriving…I get to dance with both and have already kissed one…and now their names are Mark and Marko…what the fuck is going on here?!  I couldn’t help but laugh.

I try and pull it together as Marko is brushing the hair out my face and out of the corner of my eye I see Mark walk by and pray he didn’t see me.  Marko in the thickest Italian accent says to me “Are you Italian?”  “No.”  “Have you ever been to Italy?”  “No, but I’ve always wanted to go.” And before I knew it Marko had literally swept me off my feet and was carrying me towards the door as he declares “Letsa go-a now!!” oh Marko you Italian stud what I wouldn’t give to just get swept off to Italy but let’s not get too carried away.

We decide to head upstairs and as he’s grabbing my hand and leading the way up the stairs I walk right past and lock eyes with Mark!!!  I am immediately mortified!!!!  I couldn’t believe what was unfolding in front of me.  Who am I?  Go ahead and be jealous of this beautiful disaster. 

Marko and I try and talk for a bit as he questions if I know any words in Italian…so what does this genius come up with “Oh I know Facia!” Seriously??  He was almost as dumbfounded as I was that this was the first thing I said…of all the Italian words I know I blurt out facia.  Good God.  Then I tried to make a joke and say I know other words like “mozzarella” trying to use the best Italian accent I can muster up.  Well it must have worked because all of a sudden Marko grabs my face and starts kissing me.  Who knew mozzarella was foreplay.

Suddenly my man-ADD strikes again and I realize Marko is a bit too intense for me and I kind of miss Mark.  I scratch my ear to Smitch who has made friends with a group of people from South Africa who were all standing around taking pictures of Marko and I like the paparazzi.  Off we go to find Mark but the club is closing!!  NOOOOO!!  Then I catch a glimpse of Marks preppy hair…”There he is!”  I screeched to Smitch as I dart off after Mark.  Just as he is about to walk through the door I manage to grab his hand.

The Juicy Details:  First I will backtrack and mention that the miner actually did try and call me the next day.  I missed the call and never tried to follow up.  Hell I’m on vacay I don’t need to be tied down!  And now, for Mark.  As cruel fate would have it while I’m standing by the door figuring out our next move with Smitch and Mark, Marko walks by and tries to grab me.  And no I’m not even kidding.  I quickly try to dismiss him, tell him how lovely it was to meet him and dodged a kiss on the lips and swooped into the double cheek Euro kiss.  Mark, Smitch and I try to venture off to another club for late nights but they wanted to charge us 10 Euro even though they were closing in 45min. Bullshit.  So we venture back towards the city center for a cab.  Mark really wanted to come back with us but 1. I don’t feel right bringing random guys back to my friends apt and 2. I think she’d prefer I didn’t anyway.  He was staying with family since he lives in Australia now so basically that was good night.  We kissed bunches and I gave him my number (country code included!) and immediately we started texting.  He told me how much he wanted to be able to tuck me in and wasn’t ready to say good night.  The sweetness permeated through my phone.  I could easily see him again tomorrow if I wanted to but now I had to decide if I did.


  1. I love your blog! Can't wait to see if you actually did want to see him!

  2. I don't care if it was a fiasco...that isn't a bad possition to be in. haha.

  3. Mark and Marco - that's aweseome! You certainly had your way with the foreign men.