Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Tale of S.F. Clinger

Some things are just not meant to be and my date S.F. Clinger (stage five clinger) happened to be one of those things.  He contacted me through this IM feature on the dating site which I never even knew existed before that…this is a prime example of how  effectively I use the site (note the sarcasm).  An email would have done just fine buddy…I guess some people prefer instant gratification.  Since he was so impatient I was forced to quickly scramble to check out his profile and make sure I haven’t started a conversation with Shrek or Norman Bates.  All seems good to go with the exception of one thing…religion.

Religion is a touchy subject with most people.  My EX, Mr. In as we’ll call him (short for Mr. Indecisive…)…Carrie had Mr. Big, I got Mr. In, however did I get so lucky…we were from different religions and while it wasn’t a struggle in the present I sure as shit knew that down the line it was going to create an issue which could have been the end of us...but being a seasoned pro at ending our relationship Mr. I took care of that all on his own.  I almost forgot to thank him for being predictable, where are my manners?  Anyway, I don’t see any problems with interfaith dating when two people truly love each other and are willing to speak openly, honestly and make compromises.  If both people are passionate about their religions then both people need to be passionate about sharing and learning as much as they can about each other’s backgrounds for the relationship to work…in my opinion.  In some cases you have one person who is indifferent and one who is religious so that religion is typically adopted in the home.  When both people have a strong affiliation to their religion then discussions need to happen and work needs to be put into it.  It can be a very exhausting and emotional process, especially if you’re doing it alone.  There is so very much I can say on this but I’m not going to get into my experience now because this post is dedicated to S.F. Clinger, we’ll leave the rest for another day.

Due to my experience however, I am weary about starting another interfaith relationship.  I’m not completely closed off to it and I’d never turn someone down because of their background but the honest truth is…and you have no idea how much it sucks to write this…my parents were right.  There I said it…now no one ever repeat that to them!  They need not know how smart they can be.  They would tell me time and again “A marriage is hard enough; you shouldn’t add more problems to it.”  Meaning an interfaith relationship will put a lot of strain on a marriage and they were worried for me.  So, the fact is I’m pretty exhausted from my last relationship and I’m not sure I have built up the strength to go through the struggles of an interfaith relationship again.  Even so, I chat with Clinger anyway. 
We brought the conversation to regular IM (who knew people still actually used AIM…talk about blast from the past!)  and really I was quite impressed…at first.  He was sweet, flirty, and attentive and it was more of the same on the phone.  He was willing to drive out to see me which is always a plus.  Now the day comes when we are supposed to go out.  It’s a Thursday and being we’re “buddies” he seems to try and chat constantly.  So we talk a little in the morning and he tells me he is going to a doctor’s appointment or something and will be back later.  Not really a big deal because 1. I’m at work and have a ton of shit to do and 2. Being that I’ve never even seen his face I’m not exactly feeling like I need a play by play of his day.

Cue Clingers return from the doctor and the IM that killed it all for me….”Hey I’m back….how much did you miss me?”  Now, before you start to think I’m being harsh and try to say “maybe he was kidding” I gave him the chance to show he was…and it didn’t happen.  He completely dropped the ball.  I realized through the conversation that he was completely serious.  DUDE!!!   Really?  I absolutely did not miss you.  In fact, I wouldn’t have cared if I didn’t speak to you until we were meeting up later.  Frankly, you have now successfully scared me and freaked me out.  Had he laughed when I did or dropped the…”did you miss me”, “oh when we are together we’ll do this”, or “as we hang out you’ll learn about that” talk…maybe things would be different.  But in the matter of a few IMs this guy wrote us into a relationship.  I’m sorry buddy but you’ve got the wrong girl…I have a mind of my own and right now it’s telling me to cancel this date fast before you tattoo my name on your ass or get us his and her coffee mugs. 

The Juicy Details:  I quickly sought therapy for the emotional scaring Clinger caused…But in reality I did cancel the date and ended up scheduling another one that afternoon in its place.  When opportunity knocks…

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