Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Napoleon The Greek

For those of you who don't already know or in case I haven't mentioned it yet, somewhere out there in cyberspace there is a profile about me eagerly waiting to see if I catch someone’s eye.  Online dating is definitely an interesting concept, one which I'm a total advocate of.  I know to some it still seems completely taboo because they are afraid people will judge them, it seems weird or some other bizarre reason I don’t have the energy to entertain.  But let me ask you, how is meeting someone online any more embarrassing or less socially acceptable then either meeting a dozen people in 30 seconds or thinking you’ve found the love of your life after you’ve downed 5 beers, 6 shots and a few jager bombs?   I am constantly encouraging friends to try it out because it’s actually pretty fun.  In a time when people have become increasingly busy and are at an age where you no longer have an entire campus of co-eds at your fingertips it becomes much more difficult to meet people.  I find that being online opens up a new opportunity to meet people you may never have otherwise.  I always say worst case you have a bunch of cocktails, a few dinners and conversation without meeting anyone who is “boyfriend material”…best case you meet your very own Casanova.  Now that being said I can move on to telling you all about Napoleon The Greek.

Leon as we'll call him for short is one of my online finds; truth is most guys I'm dating I've met online.  I came across his profile one day while I was "taking a break" at work and looking for my potential boyfriend...who does that??  Anyway, he seemed promising from his profile.  He had this big smile and looked like he really took care of himself…personal hygiene always a plus.  He wrote all about his family, how much he enjoyed going out to new restaurants and how he wants to run a half marathon (aka he’s not a chubster sitting on the couch drinking beer and playing video games).  All fairly basic but enough for me to send him an email and strike up a conversation.  A few emails, txts and a phone call or two later and we have dinner plans.

When he told me the restaurant he picked out I was quite impressed.  Ok actually my first reaction was, what is he nuts?  The place was one I had wanted to go to for a while so for that it was awesome, however, for a first date…it was a bit much.  The first issue was that I really don’t like eating in front of people I don’t know.  I understand it’s a bizarre kind of phobia to have and its one I try to suppress constantly.  The second is that this place is intimate, romantic and fairly upscale.  Now, I will never turn down someone who wants to wine and dine me but I just feel like it’s a lot of pressure for a first date.  Maybe it’s just me but the more I date the more I feel that the best course of action is plan for drinks and go from there.  If it all works out, we are in NYC it’s never too late to find a great place to eat. 

So the day arrives and I knew in advance I’d be arriving to the West Village before he would because I get out of work a lot earlier.  Not a big deal because I was able to walk around, shop and take a quick trip to Magnolia (where I got chatted up by a cutie who asked for my number & a cupcake date…) when it rains it pours.  And pour it actually did.  Down came the damn rain and all I kept thinking was fucking great now I’m going to feel tired, my hair will frizz and my mascara will run and there is no one here to warn me to wipe the black from my face. 

Well Leon finally arrives, late but its NYC so shit happens I’m not going to judge, and I almost died.  I started cursing myself for neglecting to retain what I read in these profiles better.  When I was planning my outfit for the night I should have remembered that Leon’s profile stated he was only 5’6’.  (Personally my preference is taller, broader shouldered type men but I’m dating so I want to expand my horizons and give everything a shot.)  I had on boots that have only about a 2 or 3” heel but it was enough to allow me to see clear over Leon’s head.  Shit.  I immediately felt myself starting to slouch and could just hear my mother’s voice screaming at me to “stand up straight”.

Inside we’re given this cute little table and from start to finish the conversation flowed.  We talked about everything and had a lot of laughs.  We were so caught up we sent the waitress away about a half dozen times before she could take our order…I swore she was going to spit in our food.  As the dinner went on there were two things that were starting to annoy me the way a little gnat you just can’t squish will.  First he kept cracking jokes about how he’s going to tell all his friends he may have went out on a date with his cousin.  Why would he do something so stupid?  Well, during one of our phone chats we found out our grandfathers are both from an extremely tiny island in Greece.  There is actually a really good chance they were friends, but related?  Give me a break.  Second, and the reason we now call him Napoleon, is that he clearly had an issue with his height.  He kept bringing up how he knows he put down that he’s 5’6” but he’s really probably more like 5’5” and he feels we’d work because I’m short too.  Well Leon I really wouldn’t have gave two shits about the inch or the fact that you’re about a half foot shorter than most guys I tend to go for but you had to go and make it the pink elephant in the room.  It’s like that scene in Austin Powers with the mole and how it just consumed his attention…well the more Leon spoke the smaller and smaller he seemed.  Listen, you are who you are so embrace it and rock the shit out of it and people will never notice. 

We split desert, not the check and said our goodbyes by my car.

The Juicy Details: There were none.  He walked me to my car, we chatted briefly, he leaned in..I introduced him to my cheek and we said we’d talk soon.  In other words, this was fun and best of luck.

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