Do U Miss Me? - Part 2

For those who missed it or need a refresher...read Part 1 of "Do U Miss Me?" - HERE

I was recently looking up locations for a particular store and one of the cities listed rang a bell and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.  When I was entering the city into my gps it pulled up an address in the same city which I had previously saved…it was for the Producer…ah-ha…that explains why it was so familiar.

Yesterday morning I’m sitting at work…bored (which seems to be the norm recently…hence me spending more time sending out my resume then I do being productive for the job I actually have)…and the Producer was on my mind.  I thought I had deleted his number but still I went through my contacts and there he was.  So in a vague stream of consciousness, I texted him.  I said “So I was around your city recently and I couldn’t figure out why it seemed so familiar…then I remembered ;)  hope all it well mister!!”  I fully expected a response of “who is this?” or something cold and disinterested or nothing at all…I received “And you didn’t call me? How rude!  What’s weird is I caught myself thinking of u a few days ago”

Oh? Wow.

Blah blah typical how are you banter commences then…

“Boyfriend?”

He wastes no time really.

Reply: “Not presently”  I had considered trying to fuck with him but decided it really wasn’t worth it.  I had no idea where this conversation was heading.

Producer: “That’s a shame.  Such a smile should always have someone admiring it. How’s the job”

At this point I’m just so surprised and confused by these little flirty compliments…what is he trying to charm me or something?  And yeah, real smooth asking about my job after saying something like that.

I respond and more banter ensues.  He eventually proceeds to tell me he still has my name in his phone as Seal which one drunken night at a bar he decided to start calling me…I suppose its  been that way ever since.  He says its because I have “really cute paw hands”…don’t ask.

I turn the tables and ask about him.  I refuse to ask the specific question of whether or not he has a girlfriend…I don’t need him to think that’s where I’m going with all this.  I’ll let him take the lead on this conversation's direction.

He tells me everything is good…work is good and he’s been traveling to and from Ireland a lot (soo jealous!!!)  his roomies moved out (he owns his own home and a couple of friends were living there with him) and ultimately not much has changed.  I told him I had just been in Ireland in November and was so jealous of his travels there.  To which he responds:

“What part of Ireland?  I’ll be leaving next Sunday and staying in Belfast for two weeks…you should come and visit me.”

Me: “Luck you to spend 2wks there!!”  (conveniently ignoring that invitation!)

Producer: “Fly out and spend a weekend with me.”  (persistent aren’t we?)

Now I decide to cave and mention the important question:

Me: “First I just got back from London so I really shouldn’t be spending more $$ for a flight…Second don’t you have a gf? (THIS is the important question) Third…despite all that it does sound super fun lol”  (I mean lets be serious…that would be quite a story and most likely would be fabulous fun)

Producer: “I like your third reason, your wrong on the second one and for your first reason…blah, you will always make more money”  (touché)

Producer: “We could pick up where we left off just this time its in Ireland.”

Me: “LoL that sounds like it should be some MTV reality show…where exactly did we leave off?”  (a question I really wanted the answer to)

Producer: “I’m not seeing a problem here”  (completely ignoring my question is terribly frustrating)

Me: “Perhaps a different location…maybe one not clear across the Atlantic.”

I then get accused for not having a sense of adventure which I took to heart bc I absolutely do and I made sure he knew it.  I'm sorry but I take an accusation like that to heart and had to defend myself.  I found out he’s been going over there to interview a cast and crew for a new show HBO will be producing…man, this just sounds cooler by the minute.  Sigh.

He then sends me over a picture to show me a view of where he was during his last visiting.  It was breathtaking.

Me: “That’s absolutely gorgeous…I miss those views.”

Producer: “U miss me?”

I was just leaving work when I saw that and I couldn’t catch my breath for a minute.  WHAT??  My jaw was on the floor.  Now that was unexpected and I didn’t know how to answer.  That’s a seriously bold question to ask and I couldn’t figure out fast enough what to do.  My mind was racing, my heart was too…I felt almost panicked.  I don’t know…did I miss him? 

Clearly, I haven't forgot about him…but does that mean you miss someone?  I don’t know.  I always think so fondly about our time together…but again does that mean I “miss” him?  But then after a few unanswered phone calls to my bestest girls I tried to take a deep breath and think about him.  and just him.  Really…what did I feel.

To try and avoid the question while I continued to think I eventually responded “Good question ;)”   so lame!

Then: “U miss me?”  Just to try and turn the table.

Producer: “Do you want me to miss you?”  (he’s always been good at avoiding the question…clearly that hasn’t changed)

Me: “What girl wouldn’t want to be missed?”

Producer: “Very true, but you didn’t answer my question.”

Me: “You didn’t answer mine either.”

Producer: “I asked first missy.”  (fair enough…he did..but still!!! I don’t want to answer first!)

I gave it one last thought and said:

“Its funny, I hadn’t really thought about it so your question kind of caught me off guard…”

Producer: “I’ll take that as a polite no”

Me: “But yeah, on some level.  So its not a no.”

Producer: “LOL well that put a smile on my face.”

Me: “So now you…miss me?”

Ready for this….because I certainly wasn’t….

Producer: “You have somehow managed to never leave my mind.”

I almost had tears in my eyes and literally had to sit down.  Granted…I was on my 10^th+ game of flip cup so that probably had something to do with my reaction but while I pulled myself together I managed to write

“Really?  So why haven’t you ever called”  (Bam!!)

Producer: “I’ve been in and out of relationships.  I’m not the one to cheat or lead someone else on.”

Me: “Fair enough, I can respect that.  So now…”

Producer: “You tell me.”  (No….YOU tell ME…since you kind of started this.)

I told him it depends on what he’s looking for…since 1. Last we had spoke about “us” he had told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious and essentially just wanted a FWB thing 2. If that’s what he’s looking for this is being squashed immediately because I’m not built for or interested in that kind of thing

Silence.  Till the next day (yesterday) when I get: “sorry love, I passed out last night and have been in meetings all day”  LOVE?!?!  Oh no no…I’m not your love and that’s not cute…we are not at the pet name thing at this moment and especially not names like that.  I know, I know people say that casually but it just didn’t feel right here.  I didn’t say anything besides no worries.

So at this point I’m still not sure what he was looking for by having that conversation…not sure if I should ask or just wait for him to start it up again.  it’s a bit strange how the conversation had so much momentum and now I’m sitting here just baffled.  A part of me says, let him be the man and come after me with any additional things he wishes to discuss…but naturally the part of me that hates being curious and left with unsettled questions is dying to make him speak.  Truth is I’m probably going to do my best to follow the former and just be patient.  If he goes MIA or just doesn’t bring it up again then I know he was full of shit…I could be wrong but something tells me that won’t be the case but I know in the long run no matter the outcome, it will be much more satisfying if I don’t initiate it.

Now I plan to stuff my stomach as much as possibly this weekend with tons of incredible Greek food at my church festival this weekend…yes, I plan on going all three days don’t judge me…and wait.  I fucking hate waiting.