So here is a story for you:
Girl joins a kickball team. Girl meets super cute guy on kickball team. Guy and girl make out one night…sparks fly. Guy wants girl to stay …instead Girl flees home with friend. Balls are kicked, cups are flipped and flirting ensues. Girl invites guy to come meet her at a bar for drinks with a few friends. Guy obliges and shows up. Guy flirts heavily with girl and expresses jealousy that other boys may have flirted with her. Guy leaves and calls/texts girl to invite her to his place. Girl considers, friends encourage and girl ends up spooning/making out with guy. Girl leaves for work in the AM.
Two weeks pass and guy and girl are reunited on the field. Guy runs over to girl excited to see her. Girl is secretly excited to see guy too. Flirting commences. More of the same takes place at the bar until guy is suddenly entrapped in conversation with a Gumby Girl (aka a girl that is so tall she reminds me of Gumby).
Guy seems to forget original girl is still there, staring right at him. Guy has blinders on and is completely focused on Gumby. Guy and Gumby may have left together?? Girl is saddened.
See, thing is perhaps I didn’t play my game right and as one of my teammates pointed out, should have been more aggressive so to say at the bar. Like as in not keeping my distance so as to not seem too interested and actually going over to him every time he was asking me to instead of ignoring it and playing coy. Yet knowing there is a chance I made myself seem completely disinterested I still can’t shake the feeling that him flirting with that girl right in front of me without a care was kind of fucked up. He had shown interest in me and then it was like I didn’t exist…although truth be told I did exist at first and he kept saying “you should stand over here” and motioned to his side…and then I didn’t. What’s wrong with me exactly? Idiot.
Does anyone else do this? You’re afraid to seem too interested or be that girl that goes after a guy when perhaps you should be hanging with your friends and ultimately you screw yourself out of a chance with him? Where is the line exactly? When do you know when you should push the envelope and when is it ok to break from your friends to pursue a cutie? This is a consistent issue for me and I need help tackling it. I’m constantly too afraid of being too flirty that I think I shoot myself in the foot with guys I actually like and end up looking disinterested. Also I think I’m afraid if I’m too flirty I look desperate and a guy will give me attention just because he thinks I’m an easy target for the night. I want a guy to want to date me and get to know me and I’m starting to think I have no fucking clue how to make that happen. I’m caught in some limbo of fearing too much of one thing that I end up doing nothing and ultimately getting nowhere…other then aggravated.
Now that I’ve recognized that I’m constantly committing dating suicide how do I stop it? I’m not sure which step recognizing and admitting you have a problem is but I’ve done it…now what??? I fear if I don’t quit this shit right now I’m going to be single forever and that thought just made me throw up in my mouth a little.
**Disclaimer: I in no way think this guy owes me anything or that just because we made out and had a sleep over he should be banned from flirting with anyone else…that’s just completely ridiculous…I guess I just feel his actions show no consideration or respect for me whatsoever…and no, I would not like a guy like that, however, if there was something I should/could have done to potentially change the outcome speak up!**