Give Me Everything...

Once in forever life throws something at you that makes you stop and think “holy fuck is the universe actually listening?”.  This week was kind of like that for me.  For a while now I have been bitching and complaining about men and sex or a lack of in each category.  I cursed the dating process for being so aggravating and somewhat unsatisfying.  I cursed all the good men for already being tied down.  I bit my tongue with slight feelings of jealousy every time I’d see someone else change their relationship to “engaged” along with an accompanying photo of a gorgeous ring on facebook.  And I cursed Dipshit for being the last person I slept with (and it not even being all that great or memorable) and wondered how people managed to find someone to get busy with outside of a relationship.  I’ve seen it happen, friends tell me about it, but how do they do it?!?!  Fucking baffling!  All I want is for all this to change…for some sign of how to make it all happen…for some divine intervention that will at least get the ball rolling!!

Then last weekend happened.  Not the one that just past but the one before…you read all about it…the epic nature of it…where the mystery of sex with strangers was solved as multiple guys tried to get me to go home with them (not that this is something I actually want, I get too attached and emotional to have casual sex, but I’m still curious), where a guy actually impressed me when trying to show he liked me…where I found that when you literally least expect it opportunities come around that just tickle you happy and leave you with the inability to resist.

As you read in my last post (and if you haven’t read, shame on you!  Go do it now and return back…Read Me) I had met this awesome Marine who, while from the area, is currently living on base in Cali & is preparing to leave for Afghanistan any day now.  There is also this other guy, Hot Work Boy, who I’ve known for a few years and have massive amounts of sexual tension with. 

So for Friday night HWB wanted to meet up with me in Hoboken and hang out.  Although from a lot of the recent messages I was receiving from him and the chats we’ve had I think his mind was on more than the usual hang out, make out and dance routine we normally have.  Bout time if you ask me.  I don’t know that I would have gone through with more but regardless I was really looking forward to seeing making out with him since it’s been a while.

After texting with the Marine all day Friday I ended up with two great offers and had to make a choice.  After a lot of debate and nervousness and completely cracking myself up over the situation (no joke, I couldn’t stop giggling because the thought of it all just completely tickled me)…I took a deep breath and made a decision.

I teach Zumba to little kids on Fridays at the Boys & Girls Club in Hoboken.  Its such an amazing hour since they are all so enthusiastic every time I show up.  Naturally after getting all sweaty with the kiddos all I wanted was a shower and a few drinks.  So, I took care of the first and went to meet up with Gryph to take care of the second.  As per usual he never disappoints and had a beer in my hand nearly the second I walked into the bar (McSwiggins if your wondering…its Gryph’s  fav spot).  Then came a few shots, more beer and me trying to calm my nerves for the evening.

He finally he arrived.  I was sitting next to the window chatting with some friends and in he walked.  Once he found me he walked right up and planted a big kiss on my lips (sounds soo junior high lol)  and I got to introduce him to my friends.  Friends…this is the Marine….Marine, friends!!!!

So yes, I picked the Marine.  It had nothing to do with his “patriotic duty” comment which so you all know was a complete joke…and besides he’s a Marine so I fully expect this kind of shit to come out of his mouth.  And nothing to do with him shipping off to fight a war.  And everything to do with me just doing something completely exhilarating.  Completely different then what I’ve been doing.  Something that can for once allow me to fully embrace my youth, my freedom and say fuck it I’m doing exactly what I want!

I tend to think things through way too much.  I consider the future, my feelings, my opinions, my friends opinions, anyone who I may meet in the futures opinions…ok that’s a lie and kind of extreme…but really, I over think a lot of things.  For once, I just wanted to live without thinking and just be fucking daring! 

Pitbull sums it up pretty damn well in my new theme song "Give Me Everything"

Give me everything tonight 

For all we know we might not get tomorrow 

Let's do it tonight 

Back to the evening…we all hung around at Swiggs for a bit and I was really enjoying the Marine’s company.  Conversation was so easy and he was funny, snarky and really sweet.  Gryph kept mentioning how into me he thought the Marine was and how he thought I really liked him too….I will neither confirm nor deny that.

Eventually we left to go next door to The Shannon…except that Gryph ditched me.  He promised he would return but I was weary.  So the Marine and I were left to fend for ourselves.  We got beers and started dancing.  I always appreciate it when a guy isn’t afraid to shake it a bit on the dance floor.  Then we both took a bathroom break  and when we met back up something happened.  I started to freak the fuck out.  When I walked over to him he immediately grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss.  Your melting right?  Totally sweet.  The Marine was nothing but sweet and affectionate!!  It was amazing.  Just what I keep saying I want.  Yet here I am with this great looking guy who is smart, successful, protects our country and here I am frantically looking around the bar at all the other guys I was thinking I could flirt with and the opportunities I am possibly missing out on and how if he kissed my head one more time I may bolt.

I kept frantically texting with Gryph begging him to come back and help me.   I was totally losing it.  It was bad.  But ever the amazing friend he is, Gryph managed to calm me down and convinced me to stay.  The fact is, after further discussion the following day I think what happened was that it was a lot in a little amount of time.  We knew each other a week and I knew it was more or less finite since he would be leaving and usually affection like that between two people builds as you get to know them while your dating.  There wasn’t much of a getting to know period and the closeness, which I’ve been craving, completely caught me off guard.  What worries me though is that if this is an indication of how I’ll react anytime a guy shows me affection I’m fucked.  I’ve never been like this before and this is my first real taste of a guy being really into me since Dipshit (and even he wasn’t all that into me when we ended).  It also didn’t help that I kept thinking about our room back at the W (the boy certainly has good taste) and how this would be the first time in…umm forever?, that I’d be doing more than innocently hooking up with a guy.  YIKES!!! 

When we left the bar the Marine wanted some pizza.  So we stopped and grabbed him a slice.  Then he started mentioning if I still wanted to see my other friends who were at Whiskey Bar we could go.  Other friends = HWB and his friends.  The Marine did not know this.  I was kinda drunk so said sure!  Then immediately regretted it.  What in the shit was I doing?? 

Well needless to say they were both extremely jealous of the other to the point it was comical.  Every chance they were able to get in my ear for a second either would say “you want to bang that guy” or “is that your boy?” or something to that effect.  I suppose drunk PYT cannot control her flirtations.  And to add to the already complicated mess of boys, the bartender I told you about, the one who is hot and remembered me…he was there along with a huge smile when he caught my eye.  Geez.  The Marine actually told me on our way out that he was really jealous of HWB and he never gets jealous.  The he’s not that kind of guy and why do I have to be so cool that he actually likes me.  Thanks??

We made our way back to the W and once upstairs I decided I’d get comfortable by slipping into one of the amazing robes they have in the room.  It didn’t take long for the Marine to take control of the situation …that night & in the morning…we got back to the room at around 2:30am…fell asleep eventually….and woke up around 6am to get ready to go to the airport. 

In the time we had together we got to know a lot about one another.  We really had some great conversations.  One of my favorite things he said which completely cracked me up was when he was telling me how he really wants to have someone he can come home to after work and especially someone who can cook since he really can’t, although he does “guy things like make breakfast and BBQ”.  What is it with men and making breakfast anyway?  My Dad is like that too…awesome at breakfast and the grill and not too hot with anything else.  He also insists that his wife takes his name and if she chooses to ignore that tradition of marriage he’s choosing to ignore the engagement ring tradition and plans to blow the money for a ring in Vegas with his friends.  Hilarious.  Also, he has a complex about women driving.  He was insisting to drive my car to the airport.  But the thing is I never let anyone drive my car so that was one battle he wasn’t winning.  He did warn me that if we were dating that would never fly and he’d be driving.  I’m all for guys being men and taking charge of such things, just not behind the wheel of my car.  And lastly the painted me a picture of how, if we were dating and we were in London where we would live and what we would see and do (he lived there for a little over a year for work and seems to really want to go back).  It was adorable.

So, in the end I made a fabulous decision.  We had a blast, he is a great guy and we’ve been keeping in touch since he left.  I have no expectations of dating him or this turning into anything more then what it is on the surface but it was just the boost of excitement I needed.  I’m so happy we caught eyes and he came into my life, even for how brief a moment.  Taking him to the airport was kind of bittersweet.  Its emotional to bring a Marine to the airport knowing there is always a chance he may never come home.  I have a few very good friends who were Marines so I’ve had a taste of this before and it never gets easier…even if its someone you barely know.  We had some wonderful kisses and he even caught me off guard by reenacting the most famous war kiss.  I wonder how long he’s been wanting to do that. 

As I was pulling into my driveway I got a call from him…turns out he seriously fucked up and his flight wasn’t actually until Sunday!!!!  What?!?!?!  He said he considered calling and seeing if I would turn around so we can head back to the hotel and spend the afternoon laying around and spending time together while he ordered us breakfast.  Despite the insanely busy day I had ahead of me, I kinda wish he had.  But he got the airline to switch his ticket and get him on the flight anyway, so he was boarding the plane when he called.  I do miss the excitement of him being around and I do hope we continue to keep in touch.  I hope he stays safe over there…and to all my Marines  “OORAH!!!”