Monday, May 23, 2011

Forget You!!!

In an attempt to stop being so "careful" and so worried about what others may think I've been trying to be a little more daring, more open, more what the fuck let's do it with my life.  Yes, it sounds careless and perhaps on some level it is.  But taking care hasn't left me feeling anymore empowered or excited about being single then being a little more bold would, in fact I'd feel its safe to say I have more regrets about not doing things then doing them, so switching things up seemed like a great plan.  After all I had a great week getting to know the Marine because of it!

So, when Friday came and the Rival (who I've been texting with sporadically since our first date) asked me to get a couple of girlfriends and join him and his friends for Beer Olympics..I gave it a quick thought and said sure!  I gathered up two of my best single girls and we made our way to the Upper East Side backyard.

When we finally arrived "fashionably" an hour late...not purposely...the party was in full swing.  The Rival enthusiastically greeted my friends and I and got us acquainted and set up with everything that was going on.  My plan for the afternoon was to just have fun.  I figured that when the Rival wanted to/had the time he would come over and hang with me but the fact was he was with his friends, I had only met him once - a month ago, and this was a competition (beer olympics) my expectations weren't high for us interacting.

As it happened we spent a little time together and most of our talking was done across a Beirut table while our teams played one another.  I constantly caught him staring at me which was flattering and also nerve-wracking since I kept praying I wasn't doing something retarded.

The party was going really well and everyone was having a totally blast.  It was really great to see the Rival in his "natural setting" if you will and watch him interacting with his friends and totally letting his guard down.  I just kept thinking how very much my type he was seeming to be and how I was looking forward to continue getting to know him.  Until I couldn't find him.

Everyone, except for a few who were too drunk to care, had run inside once mother nature decided to fuck us over and drop an awesome amount of rain on our heads.  I was upstairs with a bunch of Rivals friends and suddenly realized I hadn't seen him since we all came inside.  I quickly looked around, trying my best to totally play it cool, and finally broke down and asked his friend (who was one of the hosts of the party) if he'd seen him...apparently he had left...and didn't say goodbye??  My face must have immediately shown my emotions as his friend tried to play damage control.  He tried to reassure me he didn't say goodbye to anyone and I shouldn't feel bad and he was so wasted.  Now, I can attest to the fact that he was completely drunk out of his mind.  His team was undefeated in Beirut which means they were playing around after round for over 4 whatever other side drinks they had on top of it.  I was watching the Rival throughout the afternoon and while he was adorable he was a bit of a hot mess.  But I'm sorry, he's too old for that to be a valid excuse.

So, I did what any girl who was ditched would and shot him a text...I would have called but it was loud and I wasn't in the mood for a drunk phone call...

Me: ummm, did you leave????

Rival: yeah, I had my, I went home

(fucking asshole)

Me: no goodbye??

Rival: i had been running from the rain with everyone and I didn't see you

Me: mhm

Me: thats bullshit honestly, if you wanted to find me you could have

Rival: oh wow you totally called me out

Me: should I pretend??

Rival: possibly

(grow the fuck're 31 be responsible for your actions)

Me: why pretend?

Rival: not pretending, just didn't say bye

Me: yeah, not cool

Me: Listen have a great night, your friends were awesome, thanks for the invite!!

Now, perhaps thanking him for inviting me to a party which he didn't make an extreme effort to spend time with me at, which he didn't try to put us on the same team for, which he just fucking up and left without so much as letting me know was stupid.  But regardless of his fuck up I still had a blast and the thanks was written with extreme sarcasm.  He himself was a massive disappointment.  And frankly, while I get his position on wanting to become friends with a girl before he dates her, this is not acceptable behavior even for a friend...and most certainly not for a girl you should be trying to impress.  You are a 31 year old professional with 3 masters degrees and therefore even as a drunken mess should have the wherewithal to at least let the person you invited to a party where you were the only one she knew that you were leaving.  Common fucking courtesy.  Whats worse is, he didn't even try to use being drunk as an excuse...he just tried to blow it off which makes him even more of an ass.

His friend who told me the Rival most likely left was doing his best to stand up for his friend while making sure I was ok.  He was trying to make me feel slightly better while I was trying to let him know I wasn't there under the impression the Rival was going to be my boyfriend and my disappointment stems from the complete lack of respect and thought his friend showed me.  I'd feel the same even if one of my best girlfriends did that to me.  I think anyone would.  Luckily I had two friends there with me and I'm a bit of a social butterfly so its not like I was left alone feeling helpless...I was more then ok.

In fact, amidst my aggravation I must have broke out some kind of charm because the Rivals friend apparently totally fell for me.  He had asked me for my number before I left...I had protested because I had been on a date with his friend, who also invited me there...but if he wanted to be friends that was cool.  He assured me it was a friendly gesture.  Until later that night I was getting texts from a random number, which turned out to be his, telling me "I really like you" and so on.  We chatted yesterday as well and he was trying to get me to come hang out with him and some friends in the city.  I had to decline being that I was with my girlfriends at a BBQ in NJ.  I told him I'd love to take a rain check for later in the week....he said he was game.  So we shall see ladies and gentleman.  (ps - while I remember him being really cute I also remember thinking he might be gay and then found out he designs shoes for Nine West which I'm sorry to stereotype heightened my suspicions...damn it!) 

I'll admit that I am curious to see if I will hear from the Rival again.  I know I called him out on not saying goodbye and frankly I don't feel bad about it.  He was great...till he wasn't.  I swear this situation walked right off the pages of "He's Just Not That Into You"...guy invites you out, doesn't go out of his way to spend time with you then vanishes without making the "effort" to walk around the small Manhattan apartment to find me and say goodbye...screams I could care less!!  Ouch.  Better to know now before I wasted any time.  I've been trying to figure out why he invited me there only to pull what he did...its not like it was a sausage fest, there was plenty of girls there who were all really fun and what gives?

I'll confess, and don't take this as weakness, but a part of me wants to hear from him again. I honestly don't know why exactly since I'm so turned off and offended I don't want to go out with him again...perhaps its a psychological thing being I was the last to text and he didn't respond to me...its a text message power struggle.  I've already deleted his number so if any contact was happening at this point it would be from him anyway.

So all in all...I got a big fuck you from one guy and kind of hooked another.  Whats that whole bit about closing a door and opening a window....yeah, lets go with that.


  1. Guys are stupid! I do not fault you at all for wanting to hear from him. It's always nicer when it's your decision for things not to continue. I'm in a bit of a text message power struggle myself. I'm often the last to end the texts, but have started not to initiate. Yeah, someone has been texting me every day for a week. So I don't know if that makes us even on the power struggle or if I still have the control :)

    Intrigued on what will happen with this other guy!

  2. If you change your mind and want to text him, you can definitely pull up your phone bill and find his number... not that I've ever deleted a boys number and then tried to find it later?!?! (Wait what?) On another note, sounds like an ass hole for leaving without saying goodbye.... if you don't hear from him don't feel bad! And if you do, you can decide what you want to do...

  3. Hutch - Amen girl!! Stupid guys!! Texting is so damn annoying...I'd say if he is the one constantly initiating then you still have the upperhand. ;)

    I'm curious about the other guy it weird he's Rival's friend???

    Amy - LOL damn girl!!! Are you a spy? Thats impressive. I'm certainly prepared to cut my loses with this one...worst case his friend adores me and I come out of the situation a winner either way! Stay tuned....

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  5. Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. Rival sounds like a total d-bag. That's not a nice move at all and you deserve so much better. I understand what you mean about wanting to hear from him again... but I feel as though the answer you want is not the one that's going to come out of his mouth. He just may not be a nice person.

    At least the evening seems to have been very successful for you though in other ways ;)

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