Monday, August 29, 2011

Don't Drink & Drive...

Time to play a little catch up & update.  As per my last post I did see both Wolf & Grant last week…in fact I saw them both 3 times last week.  I’ve basically settled into the thinking that Grants little display of drunken affection was just that…he was drunk and people do stupid shit when they are wasted.  I’m totally ok and relieved with this.  He is a really great guy but I don’t see him as more than a friend so better to let the drunk texts/calls lie.  Wolf however is another story.  Apparently everyone around us seems to think there is something going on…and on some level there is…its that flirty, make out, touchy feely level…nothing extremely significant…we have chemistry and people pick up on that, no surprise. 

We went out Tuesday night for a friend’s birthday…it was fun, everyone was having a great time.  Being that I had to drive to the beer garden (we seem to be spending a lot of time there lately) I was offered up to drive Wolf, Grant and another friend of ours home since I would be passing by their place anyway.  Well, while in the backseat of my car Wolf and Grant start going through everything back there.  The two of them seem to have an obsession of rummaging through peoples things…typically this would be obnoxious and borderline rude but they are funny about doing it so its hard to get too mad…until they went into a bag of clothes I had and pulled out my bra.  What the FUCK guys!!!  I was kind of mortified but tried to play it cool as I grabbed the bra and scolded them like the children they were acting like.  Fucking men. 

When I pull up to their building everyone gets out except for Wolf.  He was asking me to park and come in and hang out…he said we were having too much fun for me to go home yet.  Then gave me the puppy dog eyes.  Not fair.  I resisted and told him I’d see him tomorrow for his birthday so he should just be patient.  He got out and insisted I get out of the car to give him a hug goodbye.  Apparently rolling down my window and waving wasn’t satisfactory enough for him.  So I hop out of the car and just as I’m stretching my tiny arms up to reach his sky high shoulders he grabs my waist and picks me up which causes a wave of giggles to come out (something about a guy picking me up makes me all kinds of tickled) and ultimately causes what I think was him potentially going in for a kiss to be an epic fail.  And that’s totally fine since our friends were watching and that would be kind of awkward anyway.

Fast forward to the next day.  Its Wolfs birthday and our last kickball game of the season.  I end up at his apartment to cut up our shirts and have a few pre-game drinks.  As I’m cutting up his shirt he starts rubbing my legs coming on how smooth they are (thank god I shaved!!!)…oh Wolf.  We all eventually leave, head to the field, play some kickball, lose the game and proceed to the bar.  We always win at the bar.  The night ended up being epic.  We were all having so much fun and I was proud of myself for not being so stand-offish to Wolf while still getting some flirt time in with a couple of other guys (one of them actually asked me out…I need to keep my options open!!)

At the end of the night I was ready to head home and Wolf seemed to be packing up as well so I asked him (without any ulterior motives!!!) if he would mind walking me to my car…better not to be walking alone by myself at night.  Its what my mom would have wanted.  So naturally him walking me turned into me dropping him off.  Which turned into one of, if not the, hottest make-outs in a car I have ever had.  Ever.  We were sitting there talking then he starts messing with the radio, I ended up leaning in to see what he was doing…our faces were too close to resist and BAM…fireworks from there.  At one point I was nearly straddling him in the passenger seat…we were twisting and turning every which way, I can’t even really tell you how it worked.  It kind of reminded me of Jack and Rose in the back of that car on the Titanic…minus the backseat, the sex, the nakedness, the boat and the people chasing after us…so maybe it was nothing like that at all but the intensity they felt was probably the same.   Yeah, whatever…all I knew was that it was hot and cant-catch-your-breath-fun.  I’ve never truly felt the “thrill of being caught” before (I used to beg my ex to have sex on the sun deck of my old building but he never would…lame!!) but this little tryst in my car finally gave me a sense of what that’s like.  Cars would pass by and there were people walking on the street…it was all very exciting. 

At one point I sat back and realized how much time had passed by and just how exhausted I was…despite how much fun I was having.  I reluctantly told Wolf I need to get home and he enthusiastically countered with “or you can just park”.  Ah, the inevitable sleep over invitation.  After about 15minutes of debate I decided that being I had been drinking and based on that alone probably shouldn’t be driving…coupled with how exhausted  I was (it was nearly 2am) that for my own personal safety as well as that of the other innocent people on the road I really shouldn’t be driving anywhere.  I told Wolf that I would stay but we are going right to sleep and nothing is happening…’I will not be sleeping with you’ is exactly what I told him and ‘don’t think this is going to become a habit’.

this is almost exactly how we slept all night...

We were good…I swear.  And while it was responsible I’m not pleased I ended up staying over.  Well the snuggling was wonderful (I’m such a sucker for that) and the part of me that misses waking up next to someone was temporarily appreciative for the company.  “Someone” forgot to set his alarm which made me wake up late and ultimately late to work…he seemed to find it funny…jackass.  As I rushed out of there and got to my car I went to reach for my phone…motherfuckingsonofabitch…I forgot my damn phone in his room.  You MUST be joking me.  I was nearly on the verge of tears thinking how its going to look for me to go back there and wake him up.  I considered just leaving it there but decided that would be worse.  I am 100% going to look like that girl who managed to “forget” something at the guys place.  Fuck!!!  Needless to say, after he answered the door I sheepishly darted to his room grabbed my phone, apologized for waking him up and bolted.  He proceeded to tease me about it all weekend.  Stay tuned for the gossip about Wolf & Grants keg party!!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Two Guys & A Girl...

I got a new FWB (aka follower for my blog) and in honor of you I decided not to be a lazy waste of space today and crank out this post just for you!!  ;)

Its always exciting when a new bar finally opens…and it’s a huge relief when you go and see that the wait was totally worth it because it’s awesome.  This happened last weekend when a few of my new kickball friends and I headed over to the new beer garden that opened in Hoboken.  They should totally pay me for plugging their bar or at least give me a free liter of beer (or two) but truth is the Pilsener Haus & Biergarten is pretty awesome and a great place for a date or a day/night out with friends.  Oh and get the muscles…they are incredible.
I got there earlier with a few others and anticipated the arrival of Wolf (who is the Guy from my last post).  I was actually looking forward to seeing him not only because I looked great but because I had been laying the ground work all week on keeping in touch with him and was hoping it may pay off when we’re in person.
I can honestly say the whole time we were there together there was subtle flirting and lots of eye contact.  Eventually he and his roommate were going to leave to head to another bar and both were begging me to join them, however, my sister and some of her friends had just got to the beer garden so I promised I’d keep in touch with them and would see about meeting up later.
No less than 5 minutes after he left Wolf was texting me about coming to meet him.  I’d keep replying snarky little things like “what do you miss me that much already?”  to which he’d confirm that yes, he kinda did.  Cute. 
Well eventually I started getting texts from his roomie asking where I was.  Then just to throw a nice twist to things he was asking if I wanted to hang out with him at his apartment.  WHAT???  I knew exactly what he was thinking but decided to play dumb anyway.  This was just too weird.  I now had two roommates both texting me to come hang out with them as individuals, not a good.  Dear God. 

 Eventually texts turned to calls.  Grant, the roomie, was doing the I’m-completely-wasted-so-I’m-going-to-call-every-minute-till-you-answer bit.  I was hoping I could just ignore the calls long enough for him to wear himself out.  Wolf and I were still just texting and eventually he asked me to call him.  I had literally just got in my car so I figured why not.  I could tell he was definitely a bit buzzed as he was insisting that I drank too much to drive home and its not safe.  Clearly his solution was that I needed to come stay over with him.  When I insisted in return that I only had two beers the entire day/night and was more then fine to drive he changed tactics.  It now turned into him really wanting to see me, begging to see me in fact…in a way hearing him on the phone pleading “PYT please come, please I really want to see you” was actually kind of cute.  Almost enough to change my mind.  He was pulling out all the stops…saying that it’d be such a perfect time because I could sleep over and then we could spend all day Sunday hanging out and watching movies since it was going to be pouring rain and the perfect snuggling day.  AAAHHH damn it Wolf, snuggling is my weakness. 
I will full admit that had my sister not been out and driving right behind me in her car there is a really good chance I would have given in after the rainy day snuggle proposal.  I will also admit that I told him if he really wants to hang out with me and have sleepovers like that he should actually make a plan with me, ask me out and not call me at 2am and think its gonna work.  He said he knows but could I please still come over anyway.  Jesus….men!!!
 The next day Grant had texted me trying to piece together his night and was mortified about how much he texted me.  I assured him it wasn’t a big deal and made no mention his roomie was guilty of the same thing.  I wonder if either of them know what the other was up to…could you even imagine what it would have been like if I had given in to either one of about awkward…yet, somehow hilarious.  Oh and apparently they do Sunday dinner every Sunday and Grant extended an invite to me…I’m going to have to take because I love when men can cook.  I offered to make dessert…no way either one of them won’t be in love with me after that.   
Anyway, I’m going to see Wolf tomorrow, not sure about Grant, but frankly, I’m feeling over the whole thing.  Funny how after a bit you just get bored with it all and now as fate would have it I’ll just bet he shows interest.  Day late, dollar short.  Stay tuned love bugs.  

Friday, August 5, 2011

Nice Guys are Assholes Too...

So here is a story for you:

Girl joins a kickball team.  Girl meets super cute guy on kickball team.  Guy and girl make out one night…sparks fly.  Guy wants girl to stay …instead Girl flees home with friend.  Balls are kicked, cups are flipped and flirting ensues.  Girl invites guy to come meet her at a bar for drinks with a few friends.  Guy obliges and shows up.  Guy flirts heavily with girl and expresses jealousy that other boys may have flirted with her.  Guy leaves and calls/texts girl to invite her to his place.  Girl considers, friends encourage and girl ends up spooning/making out with guy.  Girl leaves for work in the AM.

Two weeks pass and guy and girl are reunited on the field.  Guy runs over to girl excited to see her.  Girl is secretly excited to see guy too.  Flirting commences.  More of the same takes place at the bar until guy is suddenly entrapped in conversation with a Gumby Girl (aka a girl that is so tall she reminds me of Gumby). 

Guy seems to forget original girl is still there, staring right at him.  Guy has blinders on and is completely focused on Gumby.  Guy and Gumby may have left together??  Girl is saddened.

See, thing is perhaps I didn’t play my game right and as one of my teammates pointed out, should have been more aggressive so to say at the bar.  Like as in not keeping my distance so as to not seem too interested and actually going over to him every time he was asking me to instead of ignoring it and playing coy.  Yet knowing there is a chance I made myself seem completely disinterested I still can’t shake the feeling that him flirting with that girl right in front of me without a care was kind of fucked up.  He had shown interest in me and then it was like I didn’t exist…although truth be told I did exist at first and he kept saying “you should stand over here” and motioned to his side…and then I didn’t.  What’s wrong with me exactly?  Idiot.

Does anyone else do this?  You’re afraid to seem too interested or be that girl that goes after a guy when perhaps you should be hanging with your friends and ultimately you screw yourself out of a chance with him?  Where is the line exactly?  When do you know when you should push the envelope and when is it ok to break from your friends to pursue a cutie?  This is a consistent issue for me and I need help tackling it.  I’m constantly too afraid of being too flirty that I think I shoot myself in the foot with guys I actually like and end up looking disinterested.  Also I think I’m afraid if I’m too flirty I look desperate and a guy will give me attention just because he thinks I’m an easy target for the night.  I want a guy to want to date me and get to know me and I’m starting to think I have no fucking clue how to make that happen.  I’m caught in some limbo of fearing too much of one thing that I end up doing nothing and ultimately getting nowhere…other then aggravated.

Now that I’ve recognized that I’m constantly committing dating suicide how do I stop it?  I’m not sure which step recognizing and admitting you have a problem is but I’ve done it…now what???  I fear if I don’t quit this shit right now I’m going to be single forever and that thought just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

**Disclaimer:  I in no way think this guy owes me anything or that just because we made out and had a sleep over he should be banned from flirting with anyone else…that’s just completely ridiculous…I guess I just feel his actions show no consideration or respect for me whatsoever…and no, I would not like a guy like that, however, if there was something I should/could have done to potentially change the outcome speak up!**