Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Tables Have Turned...

Call it what you will…karma, fate, tables turned, a taste of my own medicine…not matter how you slice it, this was not a cake I wanted to sample.  On Friday...yes, my sacred Friday night, I had a date planned.  A date I actually wanted to go through with and shockingly was willing to give up my Friday night for…was “postponed”.  Really people, what the fuck?  I’ve done the postpone a date thing before…hell, I invented the postpone act…so this was. NOT. cool.  All I kept thinking was “I’m supposed to be the one to do this!” as if there is actually a supposed to in any way, shape or form when it comes to dating.  Give me a break.  Although it wouldn’t be such a bad idea because then maybe we could all get dating manuals with all the rules and expectations and possibly eliminate some of the frustration and mystery…but even then there would be rebellious rule breakers who would mess up the serenity I tried to create, damn you.

I digress.  My date was with Rocky who is a 30yr old NYC transplant by way of the Chicago area for childhood, an impressive undergrad (where he boxed…hence rocky…) and an MBA program.  I had emailed him back in July and he only just responded about a week or so ago.  But he seemed really interesting so I was willing to overlook the severe delayed reaction.  We talked all last week and eventually made plans.  We were supposed to grab drinks, maybe some dinner and explore his neighborhood (which also happens to be one of my favorites) in Brooklyn.  We both seemed pretty excited.  He was the one who requested Friday night due to the fact that he never knows if he’ll get stuck at work and hates having to cancel plans…last I checked people work on Friday so I was trying to figure out how that logic made sense.

Friday afternoon comes along and I get a text from Rocky asking how my day was going.  I tell him busy, he says the same and follows it up with “I’m exhausted.”  This is the first time my spirits fell…I got this weird feeling where this was headed and I didn’t like it.  I tend to have a keen sense for these things and right now my senses were telling me this guy was about to try and cancel.  Bummer.  I could have easily asked him right then if he wanted to reschedule but no way I was going to make it that easy.  After a few texts back and forth, one where he says “FYI still at work and buried” to which I replied “oh wow that sucks”… he eventually tells me that while he knows it’s terribly rude would I be pissed if he asked to postpone since he’s going to be at work for a while and is really grumpy about it.

An hour later I still hadn’t replied because 1. I was actually pretty pissed 2. I was in the middle of an intense P90X workout with my friend and 3. I had no idea how I wanted to respond to that.  Well clearly my silence didn’t sit well with him being that he sent me another text because he was worried I was really pissed he even suggested that.  Fucking duh.  But I tried to play it cool and show him I was interested so I told him that while I wasn’t exactly jumping up and down I understood…I’m not a total bitch ;) 

The Juicy Details:  After he thanked me for understanding and I said he was welcome I didn’t hear from him all weekend.  I’m not really upset or surprised about that…we never met, I don’t really know him from a hole in the wall, there is no reason for him to text me during a weekend.  One thing I will say is that I was a little disappointed he didn’t try and reschedule right away.  I feel that would have been a nice way of showing me he was definitely interested and wasn’t canceling to be a dick.  On the flip side, we have never met so I can see how it’s really easy to just brush off the extra effort and decide to reschedule another day.  Either way, we finally were chatting today and I’ll see if he tries to make new plans.  I’m not holding my breath but I do have my fingers crossed.  I will keep you posted.


UPDATE: So Rocky and I have been txting this week...seriously, guys need to be retrained to use the damn phone...and I found myself becoming increasingly bored with the back and forth...so in a last effort to make plans I proposed we go for drinks last night...naturally he says it depended on work and "shockingly" I get a text at 5pm saying its not looking good...ever the resourceful one I had already been in the middle of an awesome workout in the gym (I wait around for no one) and eventually replied "Ok, don't even worry about it" and proceeded to delete all texts and his number from my phone.  I'm not going to lie, I kind of get a rush of excitement when I do this...it feels really empowering for some reason.  Now I dont know if this boy has a sixth sense but later on last night I get a text from him apologizing for not being able to get together and a promise to do it another time.  Yaawwn.  Now that I'm over this I'll bet he starts pursuing me now.  This could get interesting.  

11 comments:

  1. I had a similar situation. Guy calls me, texts me constantly, we have a date planned Saturday. Friday night he says, "Me no feel good." (No, I'm not kidding.) And then cancels. Then proceeds to quit texting me. Whatever--next!

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  2. New to your blog! Excited to read more!

    I've been through this too. Hope things work out!

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  3. Erg, sounds extremely frustrating. Navigating any social situations make me queasy, but at least texting is perhaps the least intimidating of communication media. By the way, the dude sounds like a dill hole and maybe a hole in the wall will be a better drink date. Not that I know the guy, just saying...New to your blog, by the way (came over from Blogfrog). Juicy stuff!

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  4. of course, now that you deleted him, he will be trying to make plans with you. keep us posted!

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  5. Why oh why must we always make them chase us? At least you're in control now!

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  6. Welcome to the newbies...soo happy to have you here!!

    Don't you just love situations like this...guy acts like an ass...you get stressed...you try to dismiss idiotic behavior and go for round 2...guy acts like an ass again...you say eff you loser and suddenly your in control...good god its exhausting!! haha

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  7. Your post took me back and made me laugh. I would always delete numbers out of my phone to feel liberated! And you are right... I'm absolutely sure he will start pursuing you now that you deleted him. That's how it works. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out. ;-)

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  8. LOL, I hear ya on the texting versus the phone. I think it's easier for guys to just text & not have to deal with ya know, real human interaction ;)

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  9. So, I've been out of the dating loop for awhile (7 years) but I would not have put up with the texting nonsense. At least not as the major means of communication. Guys are idiots sometimes, you know? Gosh, if he can't even 1) TALK to you or 2) Make the first date, how in the world does he ever expect to make this happen? Next!

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  10. My friend was telling me how guys don't call anymore, everything is done via text. I'm new to texting but do like the convenience of it. Not sure I'd want to be asked out that way, though :).

    Following from BF.

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  11. He'll TOTALLY pursue you now. That's how it always goes. The guys that I really dig, I can't play it cool so they get turned off and run for the hills. But then when I'M totally ambivalent about a guy, he'll jump through flaming hoops with bouquets of flowers in each hand to impress me. FML.

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