For those who missed it or need a refresher...read Part 1 of "Do U Miss Me?" - HERE
I was recently looking up locations for a
particular store and one of the cities listed rang a bell and for the life of
me I couldn’t figure out why. When I was
entering the city into my gps it pulled up an address in the same city which I
had previously saved…it was for the Producer…ah-ha…that explains why it was so
familiar.
Yesterday morning I’m sitting at work…bored
(which seems to be the norm recently…hence me spending more time sending out my
resume then I do being productive for the job I actually have)…and the Producer
was on my mind. I thought I had deleted
his number but still I went through my contacts and there he was. So in a vague stream of consciousness, I
texted him. I said “So I was around your
city recently and I couldn’t figure out why it seemed so familiar…then I
remembered ;) hope all it well
mister!!” I fully expected a response of
“who is this?” or something cold and disinterested or nothing at all…I received
“And you didn’t call me? How rude! What’s
weird is I caught myself thinking of u a few days ago”
Oh? Wow.
Blah blah typical how are you banter
commences then…
“Boyfriend?”
He wastes no time really.
Reply: “Not presently” I had considered trying to fuck with him but
decided it really wasn’t worth it. I had
no idea where this conversation was heading.
Producer: “That’s a shame. Such a smile should always have someone
admiring it. How’s the job”
At this point I’m just so surprised and confused by
these little flirty compliments…what is he trying to charm me or
something? And yeah, real smooth asking
about my job after saying something like that.
I respond and more banter ensues. He eventually proceeds to tell me he still
has my name in his phone as Seal which one drunken night at a bar he decided to
start calling me…I suppose
its been that way ever since. He says its because I have “really cute paw hands”…don’t
ask.
I turn the tables and ask about him. I refuse to ask the specific question of
whether or not he has a girlfriend…I don’t need him to think that’s where I’m
going with all this. I’ll let him take
the lead on this conversation's direction.
He tells me everything is good…work is good
and he’s been traveling to and from Ireland a lot (soo jealous!!!) his roomies moved out (he owns his own home
and a couple of friends were living there with him) and ultimately not much has
changed. I told him I had just been in Ireland
in November and was so jealous of his travels there. To which he responds:
“What part of Ireland? I’ll be leaving next Sunday and staying in
Belfast for two weeks…you should come and visit me.”
Me: “Luck you to spend 2wks there!!” (conveniently ignoring that invitation!)
Producer: “Fly out and spend a weekend with
me.” (persistent aren’t we?)
Now I decide to cave and mention the
important question:
Me: “First I just got back from London so I
really shouldn’t be spending more $$ for a flight…Second don’t you have a gf? (THIS is
the important question) Third…despite all that it does sound super fun lol” (I mean lets be serious…that would be quite a
story and most likely would be fabulous fun)
Producer: “I like your third reason, your
wrong on the second one and for your first reason…blah, you will always make
more money” (touché)
Producer: “We could pick up where we left
off just this time its in Ireland.”
Me: “LoL that sounds like it should be some
MTV reality show…where exactly did we leave off?” (a question I really wanted the answer to)
Producer: “I’m not seeing a problem here” (completely ignoring my question is terribly frustrating)
Me: “Perhaps a different location…maybe one
not clear across the Atlantic.”
I then get accused for not having a sense
of adventure which I took to heart bc I absolutely do and I made sure he knew
it. I'm sorry but I take an accusation like that
to heart and had to defend myself. I found out he’s been going
over there to interview a cast and crew for a new show HBO will be producing…man,
this just sounds cooler by the minute. Sigh.
He then sends me over a picture to show me
a view of where he was during his last visiting. It was breathtaking.
Me: “That’s absolutely gorgeous…I miss
those views.”
Producer: “U miss me?”
I was just leaving work when I saw that and
I couldn’t catch my breath for a minute.
WHAT?? My jaw was on the
floor. Now that was unexpected and I didn’t
know how to answer. That’s a seriously
bold question to ask and I couldn’t figure out fast enough what to do. My mind was racing, my heart was too…I felt
almost panicked. I don’t know…did I miss
him?
Clearly, I haven't forgot about him…but
does that mean you miss someone? I don’t
know. I always think so fondly about our
time together…but again does that mean I “miss” him? But then after a few unanswered phone calls
to my bestest girls I tried to take a deep breath and think about him. and just him.
Really…what did I feel.
To try and avoid the question while I continued
to think I eventually responded “Good question ;)” so lame!
Then: “U miss me?” Just to try and turn the table.
Producer: “Do you want me to miss you?” (he’s always been good at avoiding the
question…clearly that hasn’t changed)
Me: “What girl wouldn’t want to be missed?”
Producer: “Very true, but you didn’t answer
my question.”
Me: “You didn’t answer mine either.”
Producer: “I asked first missy.” (fair enough…he did..but still!!! I don’t
want to answer first!)
I gave it one last thought and said:
“Its funny, I hadn’t really thought about
it so your question kind of caught me off guard…”
Producer: “I’ll take that as a polite no”
Me: “But yeah, on some level. So its not a no.”
Producer: “LOL well that put a smile on my
face.”
Me: “So now you…miss me?”
Ready for this….because I certainly wasn’t….
Producer: “You have somehow managed to
never leave my mind.”
I almost had tears in my eyes and literally
had to sit down. Granted…I was on my 10th+
game of flip cup so that probably had something to do with my reaction but
while I pulled myself together I managed to write
“Really?
So why haven’t you ever called”
(Bam!!)
Producer: “I’ve been in and out of
relationships. I’m not the one to cheat
or lead someone else on.”
Me: “Fair enough, I can respect that. So now…”
Producer: “You tell me.” (No….YOU tell ME…since you kind of started
this.)
I told him it depends on what he’s looking
for…since 1. Last we had spoke about “us” he had told me he wasn’t looking for
anything serious and essentially just wanted a FWB thing 2. If that’s what he’s
looking for this is being squashed immediately because I’m not built for or
interested in that kind of thing
Silence.
Till the next day (yesterday) when I get: “sorry love, I passed out last
night and have been in meetings all day”
LOVE?!?! Oh no no…I’m not your
love and that’s not cute…we are not at the pet name thing at this moment and
especially not names like that. I know, I
know people say that casually but it just didn’t feel right here. I didn’t say anything besides no worries.
So at this point I’m still not sure what he
was looking for by having that conversation…not sure if I should ask or just
wait for him to start it up again. it’s
a bit strange how the conversation had so much momentum and now I’m sitting
here just baffled. A part of me says,
let him be the man and come after me with any additional things he wishes to
discuss…but naturally the part of me that hates being curious and left with
unsettled questions is dying to make him speak.
Truth is I’m probably going to do my best to follow the former and just
be patient. If he goes MIA or just doesn’t
bring it up again then I know he was full of shit…I could be wrong but something tells me that won’t
be the case but I know in the long run no matter the outcome, it will be much
more satisfying if I don’t initiate it.
Now I plan to stuff my stomach as much as possibly
this weekend with tons of incredible Greek food at my church festival this
weekend…yes, I plan on going all three days don’t judge me…and wait. I fucking hate waiting.
