Do U Miss Me? - Part 2

For those who missed it or need a refresher...read Part 1 of "Do U Miss Me?" - HERE

I was recently looking up locations for a particular store and one of the cities listed rang a bell and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.  When I was entering the city into my gps it pulled up an address in the same city which I had previously saved…it was for the Producer…ah-ha…that explains why it was so familiar.

Yesterday morning I’m sitting at work…bored (which seems to be the norm recently…hence me spending more time sending out my resume then I do being productive for the job I actually have)…and the Producer was on my mind.  I thought I had deleted his number but still I went through my contacts and there he was.  So in a vague stream of consciousness, I texted him.  I said “So I was around your city recently and I couldn’t figure out why it seemed so familiar…then I remembered ;)  hope all it well mister!!”  I fully expected a response of “who is this?” or something cold and disinterested or nothing at all…I received “And you didn’t call me? How rude!  What’s weird is I caught myself thinking of u a few days ago”

Oh? Wow.

Blah blah typical how are you banter commences then…

“Boyfriend?”

He wastes no time really.

Reply: “Not presently”  I had considered trying to fuck with him but decided it really wasn’t worth it.  I had no idea where this conversation was heading.

Producer: “That’s a shame.  Such a smile should always have someone admiring it. How’s the job”

At this point I’m just so surprised and confused by these little flirty compliments…what is he trying to charm me or something?  And yeah, real smooth asking about my job after saying something like that.

I respond and more banter ensues.  He eventually proceeds to tell me he still has my name in his phone as Seal which one drunken night at a bar he decided to start calling me…I suppose its  been that way ever since.  He says its because I have “really cute paw hands”…don’t ask.

I turn the tables and ask about him.  I refuse to ask the specific question of whether or not he has a girlfriend…I don’t need him to think that’s where I’m going with all this.  I’ll let him take the lead on this conversation's direction.

He tells me everything is good…work is good and he’s been traveling to and from Ireland a lot (soo jealous!!!)  his roomies moved out (he owns his own home and a couple of friends were living there with him) and ultimately not much has changed.  I told him I had just been in Ireland in November and was so jealous of his travels there.  To which he responds:

“What part of Ireland?  I’ll be leaving next Sunday and staying in Belfast for two weeks…you should come and visit me.”

Me: “Luck you to spend 2wks there!!”  (conveniently ignoring that invitation!)

Producer: “Fly out and spend a weekend with me.”  (persistent aren’t we?)

Now I decide to cave and mention the important question:

Me: “First I just got back from London so I really shouldn’t be spending more $$ for a flight…Second don’t you have a gf? (THIS is the important question) Third…despite all that it does sound super fun lol”  (I mean lets be serious…that would be quite a story and most likely would be fabulous fun)

Producer: “I like your third reason, your wrong on the second one and for your first reason…blah, you will always make more money”  (touché)

Producer: “We could pick up where we left off just this time its in Ireland.”

Me: “LoL that sounds like it should be some MTV reality show…where exactly did we leave off?”  (a question I really wanted the answer to)

Producer: “I’m not seeing a problem here”  (completely ignoring my question is terribly frustrating)

Me: “Perhaps a different location…maybe one not clear across the Atlantic.”

I then get accused for not having a sense of adventure which I took to heart bc I absolutely do and I made sure he knew it.  I'm sorry but I take an accusation like that to heart and had to defend myself.  I found out he’s been going over there to interview a cast and crew for a new show HBO will be producing…man, this just sounds cooler by the minute.  Sigh.

He then sends me over a picture to show me a view of where he was during his last visiting.  It was breathtaking.

Me: “That’s absolutely gorgeous…I miss those views.”

Producer: “U miss me?”

I was just leaving work when I saw that and I couldn’t catch my breath for a minute.  WHAT??  My jaw was on the floor.  Now that was unexpected and I didn’t know how to answer.  That’s a seriously bold question to ask and I couldn’t figure out fast enough what to do.  My mind was racing, my heart was too…I felt almost panicked.  I don’t know…did I miss him? 

Clearly, I haven't forgot about him…but does that mean you miss someone?  I don’t know.  I always think so fondly about our time together…but again does that mean I “miss” him?  But then after a few unanswered phone calls to my bestest girls I tried to take a deep breath and think about him.  and just him.  Really…what did I feel.

To try and avoid the question while I continued to think I eventually responded “Good question ;)”   so lame!

Then: “U miss me?”  Just to try and turn the table.

Producer: “Do you want me to miss you?”  (he’s always been good at avoiding the question…clearly that hasn’t changed)

Me: “What girl wouldn’t want to be missed?”

Producer: “Very true, but you didn’t answer my question.”

Me: “You didn’t answer mine either.”

Producer: “I asked first missy.”  (fair enough…he did..but still!!! I don’t want to answer first!)

I gave it one last thought and said:

“Its funny, I hadn’t really thought about it so your question kind of caught me off guard…”

Producer: “I’ll take that as a polite no”

Me: “But yeah, on some level.  So its not a no.”

Producer: “LOL well that put a smile on my face.”

Me: “So now you…miss me?”

Ready for this….because I certainly wasn’t….

Producer: “You have somehow managed to never leave my mind.”

I almost had tears in my eyes and literally had to sit down.  Granted…I was on my 10^th+ game of flip cup so that probably had something to do with my reaction but while I pulled myself together I managed to write

“Really?  So why haven’t you ever called”  (Bam!!)

Producer: “I’ve been in and out of relationships.  I’m not the one to cheat or lead someone else on.”

Me: “Fair enough, I can respect that.  So now…”

Producer: “You tell me.”  (No….YOU tell ME…since you kind of started this.)

I told him it depends on what he’s looking for…since 1. Last we had spoke about “us” he had told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious and essentially just wanted a FWB thing 2. If that’s what he’s looking for this is being squashed immediately because I’m not built for or interested in that kind of thing

Silence.  Till the next day (yesterday) when I get: “sorry love, I passed out last night and have been in meetings all day”  LOVE?!?!  Oh no no…I’m not your love and that’s not cute…we are not at the pet name thing at this moment and especially not names like that.  I know, I know people say that casually but it just didn’t feel right here.  I didn’t say anything besides no worries.

So at this point I’m still not sure what he was looking for by having that conversation…not sure if I should ask or just wait for him to start it up again.  it’s a bit strange how the conversation had so much momentum and now I’m sitting here just baffled.  A part of me says, let him be the man and come after me with any additional things he wishes to discuss…but naturally the part of me that hates being curious and left with unsettled questions is dying to make him speak.  Truth is I’m probably going to do my best to follow the former and just be patient.  If he goes MIA or just doesn’t bring it up again then I know he was full of shit…I could be wrong but something tells me that won’t be the case but I know in the long run no matter the outcome, it will be much more satisfying if I don’t initiate it.

Now I plan to stuff my stomach as much as possibly this weekend with tons of incredible Greek food at my church festival this weekend…yes, I plan on going all three days don’t judge me…and wait.  I fucking hate waiting.     

Threes Company Pictures....

As promised...here is a sampling of the ridiculous pictures Smitch took of me during my last full night in Dublin...




I hope you enjoy looking at them half as much as I enjoyed posing for them!!

Trying my best to mimic the mannequin

We walked past this spot going to the bar...no tree...we leave the bar...BAM full blown Christmas tree!

Can't remember the last time I saw a legitimate phone booth

He let me hop on solely for a photo op...so sweet!

Some famous statue...don't remember who...blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

And there you have it!!!  Hope these photos helped make your night fan-fucking-tastic!!!!

Come back tomorrow to hear all about my Bean Town (Boston) adventures!!!

Threes Company or A Crowd...

My last full day in Dublin was spent being a total girl with Smitch.  We walked around Grafton St. hopping in and out of dressing rooms, drooling over shoes and talking about guys.  For most of the day I was in a serious debate over whether or not we should invite Mark out for my last night in Ireland.  Sure, sure we had a really great time the night before but why spoil a good thing?  Plus after tonight I’d most likely never speak to him again…it’s not like this was love at first site and I was certainly not going to try and have a relationship that spans a fucking ocean…so was it worth the effort?

After an entire shopping day of debate we decide I’ll send an open invitation to Mark for the nights festivities.  Smitch and I decided on a code signal (the ever so slick ear pull) we would use in case either of us was so sick of Mark or the current scene we would use our escape plan and bail.  (I’m so totally optimistic.)  When we finally invite him out he shows up hes alone!!!!  Perhaps under other circumstances this wouldn’t have been too big of a deal but Smitch and I were looking forward to really rocking the town and Mark just made himself the third wheel.  Fail Mark, epic fail.

We try to make the best of it but Mark, in his corduroy pants, turtle neck and leather jacket looked more like he was going to a funeral then a club…the quiet, shy thing he was doing wasn’t helping either.  Smitch and I desperately wanted to get away but he was so fucking nice guilt kept getting the best of us.  While we were in the bathroom, in separate stalls, we were discussing what to do and all the girls that overheard us started chiming in telling us to ditch him since there are plenty of other men out there.  Oh the hilarity.  We eventually ended up back at Café en Seine in hopes that the awesome atmosphere of dancing, drinking and hot people would perk up Mark or at the very least we’d be able to successfully lose him in the crowd (evil I know).

Neither happened.  Smitch and I had a blast dancing our asses off on the dance floor while I tried in every way I knew how to perk up Mark.  I could tell that he was “trying” but I don’t know if the fact that he was sober (he was downing drinks like a champ I assume to loosen up…) or if perhaps this is just who he is was to blame for what seem like a complete lack of enthusiasm.

We eventually leave and for some drunken reason decide to try and head back to the same club that tried to charge us 10 Euros to get in the night before and being that we got there at the exact same time the same exact thing happened.  We didn’t want to go in.  Although, the walk there was totally worth it.  Smitch took my camera and started taking the most random fucking pictures ever of all the things I’ll “miss about Dublin”.  This involved me doing completely ridiculous hilarious poses with things like leaves, a pedicab driver, a mannequin and a christmas tree.  And best of all Mark suddenly woke the fuck up!!  He was laughing, participating, flirting…oh happy day!

The Juicy Details:  While it wasn’t nearly the make-out, flirt sesh I was hoping for I definitely had a nice time with Mark…even though I do wish it didn’t take him so long to at least seem like he was having a good time.  When it was time to say goodbye we shared a few great kisses and sadly parted ways.  Naturally we texted a bit more during the night and before I got on the plane the next morning I sent him my email and told him to keep in touch.  I know I will ever see him again but we have a exchanged a few emails which is sweet.  All in all I would say Ireland was a major success!!!  I’m already missing it like crazy!!!

Stay tuned for my post about the hot, yet stupid, fireman I met last Friday!  Also, I’m off to Boston for the weekend so hopefully I’ll have some fabulous stories about the men in Bean Town for you next week!!  

Mozzarella to Make-Out...

Long before I ever arrived in Dublin I had come to the  decision that this was not going to be a vacation filled with lazy days, nights that last till morning and an I don’t give a shit about fuck attitude on a daily basis.  Of course it wouldn’t be vacation without a few of those tossed in!  so as my week went on and I continued to indulge myself in all the sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touches Ireland could offer me I eagerly anticipated the weekend.  I knew debauchery would ensue then.

All week Smitch and I discussed trying to take a weekend trip being that I had spent every night of my vacation in Dublin…she thought it’d be great to spend some time in a brand new location.  We discussed everywhere from Galway which is supposed to be an insanely fun city for the younger crowd in Ireland down to Paris, London and Barcelona.  I swear at each mention of a new city my eyes widened, my jaw dropped closer to the floor and I’m sure I left a huge puddle of drool behind.  See once your over in Europe getting anywhere is a piece of cake…along with being insanely cheap as well.   For 11 Euros round trip and less than a 2hr flight you’d find yourself standing in beautiful London!!!  It felt like such a dream and my head was spinning from all the incredible possibilities.  I never want to leave this place!

Well in the long run we ended up staying in Dublin.  I know, sad face.  But before you go feeling bad for me it was my own decision.  After much thought and even after Smitch and I packed bags Thursday night I decided that I hadn’t really been able to full explore the Dublin nightlife and I couldn’t possibly leave Ireland without getting smashed in its most famous city.

In our typical fashion we decide our plan of attack would be a bar crawl.  Being that Smitch knows all the best places I knew I was in good hands…plus planning bar crawls happens to be a forte of hers so score for me!  As we hop around we try and decide which bar we can finally settle at and with each bar we go to we keep getting closer.  Finally we walk into Café en Seine and I knew it was the spot.  Huge, chic, two floors, hot guys and a dance floor…DONE!

As we grab drinks and make our way to the dance floor I spot two guys (one completely preppy and the other a total European), not together, and immediate point them out to Smitch.  I think it went something like “Oh wow those two guys are really hot…lets go dance over there!”  I was only hoping my skills were on cue and perhaps I’d grab the attention of at least one of them. 

Well let’s just say my skills did not let me down.  Before I knew it one of preppy guys friends came over and was dancing with Smitch and I.  The next thing I know this sketchy guy who was standing over by the wall, and I’m pretty sure was there alone, comes over to me and says in my ear “You are absolutely beautiful, seeing you has completely made my night…you know that guy over there (he points right at preppy) is totally into you and is jealous your dancing with his friend…lucky guy if you’re interested.”  WHAT?!?!  This guy had no idea who my preppy interest was but just couldn’t help himself and felt compelled to come over.  Needless to say, sketchy or not, I believed what he said and walked right over to preppy and said “So are you just going to stand there staring at me all night or are you actually going to dance?”

And from that moment it was on.  In between dancing and flirting we tried to get to know the basics…he was Mark, originally from Dublin and currently living in Australia working on increasing his clientele since he is a personal trainer and he was ridiculously sweet.  Now let me just lay this out there…he is a gorgeous Irish man with this amazing Aussie/Irish accent and he’s in amazing shape since he’s a trainer.  Fucking jackpot!!!  Just please wrap your head around this.

At one point Mark retreats to the bar to get a drink and I feel someone come up behind me and start dancing.  Normally this approach creeps me the fuck out, I hate when guys come up behind me and think it’s acceptable or enjoyable to rub their junk all up on my butt…if you want to get off go pleasure yourself in the bathroom don’t use my ass…but I digress.  I turned around thinking I’d find Mark there…but no…it was the European guy!!  Oh this couldn’t get any better if I wrote the script myself. 

Now had I been back home I probably would have tried to play both guys (a fault of my I want it all NY mentality) and see who was most entertaining but I caught Mark out of the corner of my eye and was still feeling him so I tore myself away from the hot Euro boy and went back to dancing with Mark.  Cue a bit more dancing and enter some delicious making out and I suddenly decide I’m bored.  I must have man-ADD .  Smitch and I decide its definitely time for a refill and on our way to the bar I spot the European.  In a split second I grab his hand and we are face to face.

We exchange hellos and after I tell him my name he says “Its very nice to meet you, I’m Marko.” SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  Lets just recap…I point out two hot, random guys on the dance floor upon arriving…I get to dance with both and have already kissed one…and now their names are Mark and Marko…what the fuck is going on here?!  I couldn’t help but laugh.

I try and pull it together as Marko is brushing the hair out my face and out of the corner of my eye I see Mark walk by and pray he didn’t see me.  Marko in the thickest Italian accent says to me “Are you Italian?”  “No.”  “Have you ever been to Italy?”  “No, but I’ve always wanted to go.” And before I knew it Marko had literally swept me off my feet and was carrying me towards the door as he declares “Letsa go-a now!!” oh Marko you Italian stud what I wouldn’t give to just get swept off to Italy but let’s not get too carried away.

We decide to head upstairs and as he’s grabbing my hand and leading the way up the stairs I walk right past and lock eyes with Mark!!!  I am immediately mortified!!!!  I couldn’t believe what was unfolding in front of me.  Who am I?  Go ahead and be jealous of this beautiful disaster. 

Marko and I try and talk for a bit as he questions if I know any words in Italian…so what does this genius come up with “Oh I know Facia!” Seriously??  He was almost as dumbfounded as I was that this was the first thing I said…of all the Italian words I know I blurt out facia.  Good God.  Then I tried to make a joke and say I know other words like “mozzarella” trying to use the best Italian accent I can muster up.  Well it must have worked because all of a sudden Marko grabs my face and starts kissing me.  Who knew mozzarella was foreplay.

Suddenly my man-ADD strikes again and I realize Marko is a bit too intense for me and I kind of miss Mark.  I scratch my ear to Smitch who has made friends with a group of people from South Africa who were all standing around taking pictures of Marko and I like the paparazzi.  Off we go to find Mark but the club is closing!!  NOOOOO!!  Then I catch a glimpse of Marks preppy hair…”There he is!”  I screeched to Smitch as I dart off after Mark.  Just as he is about to walk through the door I manage to grab his hand.

The Juicy Details:  First I will backtrack and mention that the miner actually did try and call me the next day.  I missed the call and never tried to follow up.  Hell I’m on vacay I don’t need to be tied down!  And now, for Mark.  As cruel fate would have it while I’m standing by the door figuring out our next move with Smitch and Mark, Marko walks by and tries to grab me.  And no I’m not even kidding.  I quickly try to dismiss him, tell him how lovely it was to meet him and dodged a kiss on the lips and swooped into the double cheek Euro kiss.  Mark, Smitch and I try to venture off to another club for late nights but they wanted to charge us 10 Euro even though they were closing in 45min. Bullshit.  So we venture back towards the city center for a cab.  Mark really wanted to come back with us but 1. I don’t feel right bringing random guys back to my friends apt and 2. I think she’d prefer I didn’t anyway.  He was staying with family since he lives in Australia now so basically that was good night.  We kissed bunches and I gave him my number (country code included!) and immediately we started texting.  He told me how much he wanted to be able to tuck me in and wasn’t ready to say good night.  The sweetness permeated through my phone.  I could easily see him again tomorrow if I wanted to but now I had to decide if I did.

Don't Forget the Country Code...

I stepped off the plane in Dublin and it all became real once I saw my very first stamp staring back at me from my passport.  Suddenly my life changed.  I was actually here.  I was on foreign soil.  I made it.  I did it.  I was proud, excited, relieved and just had a beaming smile on my face even though I was completely alone.  And it was weird…I was completely alone and yet I couldn’t have been happier.  I didn’t feel lonely, scared, nervous or anxious.  Well, perhaps I was a little anxious but not in that stressed out from anxiety kind of way but in that I cannot wait to start walking the streets of Dublin kind of way. 

Traveling to Europe was something I’ve wanted to do my whole life and I never took the opportunity…at first it was because I didn’t have the money…then when I finally did I was dating Shithead and it was like moving a glacier just to get him to take a day trip to Philly so leaving the country was out of the question.  And while he wouldn’t have stopped me from going without him, I never wanted to have huge experiences  like this without him.  I felt we were in a relationship and should do stuff like this together.  Idiot.  I’ll be honest that I spent a bit of time on the plane reflecting about everything that happened with Shithead.  A part of me still longing for the missed opportunities to share something like this with him.  I started to fear I was going to spend this entire trip reflecting on him and imaging what it would be like if he were there.  Then I quickly prayed to God my mind wouldn’t be such a fucking devil and torture me like that on such an expensive excursion.  Wouldn’t that be a complete goddamn shame? 

Anyway, I digress, here I was!!!  I was in Europe!!!  I hopped on the bus to head towards my friend’s apartment and about a million things were running through my head.  I wanted to video everything, photograph everything, see, taste and feel everything!  Sensory fucking overload I tell you.  It’s like a child who just got to Disney for the first time…their eyes are wide, their smiles huge and their excitement so great they can barely sit still.

After I met my friend, who I’d like to introduce you to…he name is Smitch and I’ve known her since high school.  We were part of a group of best friends who all happened to have a different variation of the same name, I kid you not, we all played sports and we were all inseparable.  Smitch moved to Dublin after college for post-grad and then got a job with an incredible company over there and has been living there ever since. 

So Smitch and I got back to her apartment and while I think she expected me to want to just pass out from the long trip over all I wanted to do was freshen up and get out in the city.  Smitch had to give a presentation at some conference so she walked me to the center of the city and left me to explore.  I’m not going to go into detail of my travels because after all this is a dating blog but I will tell you…given the opportunity go to Ireland.  My god, beautiful, friendly, fun…it’s an incredible place.  The more I walked the more I just felt like I completely belonged.  The men were adorable, hot, handsome…sigh, I miss them already.  And really…the accents just make it that much better (when you can actually understand them).

That we headed to a Halloween party…let me tell you Halloween in Ireland is so much more genuine then here in NYC.  People frown upon you if you go out and get a store bought costume.  Also, most girls do not dress like skanky sluts.  People get ridiculously creative and make, yes MAKE, their own costumes…from the obvious to the thought provoking I was extremely impressed.  So as I was making my way through the crowd a seriously sexy guy caught eyes with me.  He and a few of his friends were there dressed as Chilean miners…fucking awesome.

At this point I hadn’t given much if any thought to meeting a guy.  I was so caught up in making friends, taking in the atmosphere and still on my Holy Shit I’m in Ireland high that the idea of meeting someone just didn’t even occur to me.  “When you least expect it” as some would say.  From the second we caught eyes you could feel the attraction.  He made his way through the crowd over to me and we started talking.  I remember just swooning over his gorgeous eyes, great smile and praying to god I could understand his accent.  All was going well.  We were making our way around the party hand in hand as he introduced me to everyone he knew.  I broke away at one point to find Smitch and refill my glass…she and I were on our way to finishing our 4^th bottle of Rosé champagne at this point…like I really needed more??  Fuck it, I’m on vacation! 

She started questioning me about my Chilean miner find and when she asked what he did all I could remember was “he said he goes to the gym…” Whether or not that meant he was a personal trainer I could not tell you.  Frankly, I didn’t really give a shit either…I was all sorts of bubbly from being champagne drunk and lusting after my first Irish boy crush.

All of a sudden it was 3am and time for Smitch and I to head home which also meant saying good bye to my miner.  I was sad to go but I knew I still had 9 days left so this was only the beginning!!

The Juicy Details:   Through all the talking and flirting and drinking I hadn’t even though much about actually physically connecting with the miner.  What, how is that even possible?!?!  Well, once I realized the Cinderella hour was quickly approaching my instinct kicked in and I quickly locked eyes with the miner, grabbed his hands, slowly propped myself up on my toes as he wraps his hands around my face and we have the most delicious kiss.  Inside I felt a million butterflies…here I am, my first night in Ireland and I’m having the most amazing kiss…I couldn’t have ever planned something this awesome.  And from that point it was on…we just couldn’t stop kissing each other.  Each chance we had until the moment I had to leave we took full advantage.  I began to truly see the power of a kiss when with each one I felt a little more of the thoughts, the stress, the bullshit and whatever from home break away…it wasn’t complete but it was a damn good start. 

When I finally had to pull myself away the miner pulled out his phone…at this time I was patting myself on the back for putting a global plan on my blackberry before I left…and he asked me for my number.  Who would have guessed my very first night in Ireland a hot guy would be asking for my American number???  He hands me his phone and says “Why don’t you give me your number and maybe I can show you the city…oh and Don’t forget the country code”  At that, I practically cracked up...I can honestly say I’ve never heard that before and I absolutely loved it.  I knew from that moment this trip was going to be epic.

Bittersweet Return...

Good Morning everyone!!!  I'm pleased(???) to tell you that I have returned back to good old NYC.  The way I feel after taking this trip is hard to put into words.  Its hard to even decide where to begin.  From the moment I got on the plane to the second I stepped back onto American soil this experience turned out to be so much more then I expected.  I feel changed in some of the most obvious and yet most subtle ways.


I'm working on a couple of entries (in between catching up with family, friends, at work, on facebook and on all of your blogs...I missed soo much!!!) I'm going to try and get up in the next couple of days to fill you in on all The Juicy Details of the trip and there are plenty...so sit tight because I promise it will be worth the wait!!!