At some point it was bound to happen…I had a second date. Hallelujah! A man I actually want to see again and who feels the same towards me. I don’t want to get carried away but maybe all hope isn’t lost for men.
There is something I’ve always liked about second dates. I mean I really like first dates (and no, I’m not just saying that) but second dates are exciting. The anticipation of seeing someone who just gave you butterflies, made you smile, got you to blush or occupied your thoughts throughout the next day is hard to beat. You’re at a higher level of comfort where you can ask deeper questions, talk more freely, sit a little closer and let your touch linger a little longer. Its more affectionate and more fun. The only part that leaves me uneasy is the first hello…if you kissed goodbye on the first date do you kiss hello on the second? I’ve found this varies on a case by case basis and I always let the guy make the first move. So it’s like a sweet little surprise when he plants one right on you when he sees you…like oh my gosh he was definitely just as excited to see me…if not, you get to build up more anticipation as you wait for that first second date kiss.
Jim had planned for us to get dinner and then have drinks on a roof deck…two great ideas, especially in the summer. One of the biggest struggles I’ve been facing in my dating life is the time I leave work compared to the rest of your average working population with the exception of teachers and I guess maybe people such as doctors, nurses, firemen or police depending on their shift. I am out of work at 3:30…granted I go in at 7am…but I get out nice and early in return. Whenever I have a date planned it always means that I’m going to have a bunch of time to kill before the date. So in this case we had plans to meet around 6:30ish and it was only going to take me about 20-30min to get by his apartment. So I killed some time at work and stayed late and even still I ended up with over an hour to myself. Thankfully there was a pier nearby so I was able to sit and relax by the water till Jim got off the train.
Once he got there we took a quick run up to his apt so he could drop off his bag…his room was immaculate btw, so very clean and organized it made me feel like a slacker and my room is typically put together…good sign. Finally we get to dinner at this sweet little Cuban place and the conversation just goes full force. I found out so much about him and vice versa, on a level I never expected. He made me laugh, impressed me and even shocked me a bit. There was more to him I would have never guessed. We spent a couple of hours at dinner because we just got so caught up. He had this way of looking at me and just got me all kinds of tickled and I couldn’t get enough.
When we finally leave the restaurant we’re both surprised to see that its pouring outside. He’s in a button down and slacks…I’m in a cute ruffled dressed and heels…neither of us has an umbrella. Well, I said what the hell, lets just walk...I’m no prima donna and a little water wont kill me, plus I really do love the rain...not necessarily in a dress and heels but who am I to be picky. So we walk hand in hand through the rain…stop for a few kisses which is just wonderful…then he asked if I want to go back and hang out at his place since clearly roof top drinks couldn’t happen. At that moment I was so torn, I swear there was a devil and angel sitting on my shoulders. On the one hand I really didn’t want the night to end, we were having a great time and I really wanted to take the opportunity to get to know him better and as I've mentioned I am a sucker for good kisses and I would have loved nothing more then to snuggle on the couch and just make out high school style (yes, I just said that...and yes, I'm serious...just think about it for a minute and how fun it really could be...)…now, on the other hand I heard one of my best friends Ox in my head when he once told me “Anytime I get a girl back to my apartment I know I got it in the bag.” or something to that effect. Translation…he knows he can get her in bed if he wants to. Now clearly this isn’t true for every guy and clearly he doesn’t mean that’s true for every girl but for some reason it was enough to freak myself out….I didn’t want to be THAT girl. So, I voiced my struggle with him, he begged me to stay and I ultimately decided to leave. Always leave them wanting more right?? But does that apply when you leave yourself wanting more as well?? Stupid.
I tried to justify leaving in my own head by saying it was a good thing to go while it wasn't raining too hard and it wasn't too late since I wasn't 100% sure how to get home from where we were. Forget about making out high school style I was acting with the maturity level of someone in high school...I'm an adult, I dont have a curfew, what in the shit was I thinking??? I regretted my decision the entire way home and sent him a txt to tell him I wish I had stayed out of fear he would think I was blowing him off and wasn’t interested. I hope it worked.
The Juicy Details: Kissing in the rain is amazing. Kissing Jim in the rain was so fun. I could have stood there kissing for as long as my body temperature could stand it. After my text he replied that we would do it again soon…always good to hear. So, now we wait and see if there will ever be a third date with Jim...though I couldn't completely blame him if there wasn't after what I pulled.
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