Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Sorry, Was That Mean...?


You know whats interesting…the more time I find myself with the lazier I seem to become.  What’s with that?  I can’t imagine I’m the only one with this “problem” so please someone, enlighten me.  This is essentially my backhanded explanation as to why I haven’t updated in a while.  I really need to get better with this.

So let’s get right to it shall we….before I start talking about guys who have or may actually score dates with me I’d like to tell you about this serious pain in the ass I just had no patience for on POF.  Anyone who has ever done the online dating thing knows that there are often a lot of messages which go unanswered.  Some people deal with this better than others and just let it go, knowing its not the first or the last time there won’t be a response.  Some people will bitch and moan to their friends…others may email you again to see if the second time is a charm…but then you have others who email you back to interrogate you on why you didn’t respond.  Do I really need to justify why I don’t want to email you?  Who is this helping here?  Its not going to make you feel better and its only going to make me seem like a bitch.  For example I got this email the other day:
So. I wrote you an interesting email. I asked you questions. I avoided complimenting you like crazy even though you're stunning. You looked at my profile and deleted the email. 

Any reason? I'm still a human being even though i'm not a 6'3 Abercrom-boi who waxes his chest hair, promise.

eYeah I know, you don’t even have to say it.  Well, this poor sucker caught me on a bad day because normally I would either ignore this email as well or reply with some sort of sweet and sensitive rejection.  Instead, he received this:

Ok so we have to do this the awkward way huh...

...the email you wrote me, which you so presumptuously assumed I deleted went a little something like this:

"So where's the best pizza place in NYC? My vote is for Rose's in Penn Station LIRR floor"

Sure you asked A question, one single solitary question...NOT questions as you say...but do you know how many people asked the same exact question? I can't walk down the street in the city without being stopped by a tourist asking the same question...so Bravo, you're as interesting as an anonymous tourist. Frankly I wouldn't exactly define that as "interesting"...and if you do there is one example of why we are probably not compatible. it takes a lot more for me to be interested.

Second, you ask for a reason why I looked at your profile and didn't respond...well, you are a human being but you are not one who I am attracted to. i also don't appreciate being stuck into a cliche of only looking for "Abercrombie" model types, however hot they may be.

And lastly, for a final reason I prefer to date someone of a similar background to mine.

Hopefully this answers your question, validates your humanity and gives you piece of mind that even though I'm "stunning" it’s possible I'm not a bitch and I'm just not interested.

So there you have it…that is the bitchiest I think I’ve ever…well, no wait, there has definitely been worse…so it’s the bitchiest I’ve been in a long time.  I don’t really feel bad about it…but feel like I should.  He emailed me a few times after that saying how he’s ugly, he knows he can’t change that but what should he do…blah blah.  Frankly, it was borderline pathetic but also didn’t seem possible that someone 100% whole heartedly would be blurting this out to a perfect stranger who just in no uncertain terms turned you down.  Anything is possible but deep down I hope this wasn’t serious…if it were, I’d have to speculate if low self esteem plays a part in his lack of success.
Anyhow, I was going to lump this all together with a few other things but in the interest of no making an extremely lengthy post I’m going to separate them.  Stay tuned!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Satisfy Your Curiosity...


So lets see...last I left you off was with the tale of the Producer.  Currently, he's off in Ireland...leaving me here in a state of constant jealousy...and yes, he did ask me to go but let's be serious...flights were over a thousand dollars, I haven't seen him in at least a year and I just got back from London...as sad as it makes me it just wasn't going to happen.  Even still I'll update you on what is currently an uneventful situation.  It seems that the Producer unleashed all the "I miss you" "you've never left my mind" nonsense right before he knew he was going to be traveling for ooohhh about a MONTH.  A motherfucking month! 

Now, the way that’s written makes it all seem way more dramatic then it is...but I mean really...don't go saying shit like that and then jet set across the ocean to another country for 3 weeks and then some other random state like Vermont after that.  IF in fact you feel the way you say then hold it in and wait till you home and can do something about it.  Frankly, I feel like timing and momentum is everything between two people.  You can start something and then let it fizzle and expect that a few weeks later it's all good.  It's not.

Same goes with Wolf.  He had spontaneously invited me over on a Thursday night, however, I was already with friends blowing away some brain cells while simultaneously boosting our perceptions of our own lives watching the Jersey Shore hence I wasn't available.  We tried to meet up Saturday night but he never came through and nothing since.  Its dead...whatever it was.  In my opinion anyway.  We had some momentum...there was a spark, it was alive..and its died.  We killed it...by letting too much time pass.  I see him at our game on Thursday and I have a flurry of mixed emotions about it.

And now..Sunday Funday.  God I LOVE football season.  Beer, wings, football = Bliss.  In the past I was typically with Dipshit during football season...which was fun since we were both HUGE NYG fans.  Even if it was just the two of us watching a game it was a lot of fun.  Last year was my first single football season since graduating college and it was spent watching the games with my friends always switching houses.  This year...still single (yippee???) and I'm doing Sunday Funday like never before.  I had no idea what I've been missing all this time.  Being out at the bars during the games not only is a hot guy jackpot but a seriously good time.  The energy, the cheering, the dozen TVs showing every game...its heaven.  And dangerous...in all the best ways.  Twice now I've been out till almost 11pm...once I did a mini bar crawl (by accident) through Hoboken.  Every time I've met someone.  The first time it was this really cute guy who I may have made out with in the street before he took my number and I walked back to my friends apt with a big smile on my face.  The second time it was a friend (read: wingman) of a guy hitting on KK.  I even heard the guy lean over to the wingman and say "your welcome"...as in he's welcome for getting to meet me...sooo weird.  This guy was really cute, however, he's a bit short for my taste.  I tend to be attracted to taller, bigger men (not like heavy guys but more of the broad shoulder, guys guy type)...this guy was maybe 5'8" but again great, casual, fun personality and definitely cute...so yeah, I gave him my number.  We texted and it all fell apart when he called me shit tanked at 4:30 AM!!! On Friday.  Fail dude.

Well, there is your update for now.  I have a nasty cold I'm trying to kick which basically put the brakes on all my adventures from this past weekend.  I was lucky I made it between my bed and my couch.  I may have been sprawled out in the hallway for a bit crying for someone to fix me.  The GIANTS certainly helped perk me up with their big WIN on Sunday as did the 5 wings I ate.  Please wings are like antibiotics...in a perfect world.  

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