Thursday, September 30, 2010

Like a Hundred Kisses....

When I started DATERVIEW I was really clueless about how to truly measure my success being that I was a complete blogging virgin and knew no one with experience who could show me the ropes.  At first I was all about getting followers...the more the merrier.  But then my first comment came and I realized how incredible that felt.  Its like having confirmation that people are reading the shit you are writing and care enough to say something about it.  Then I started noticing little blog awards on other, more established blogs and started thinking...god damn it...I want one!!!  What do I need to do to get one of those puppies??


Well, my amazing followers...it has actually happened!!!  I have received my FIRST Blog Award from Lis over at An American Girl in Bristol...make sure to stop by and check her out.  So first and foremost I would like to give a huge thank you to her for this.  It means a lot to me and is more satisfying than a hundred kisses (unless perhaps they are coming from Rugrat...more on that in the next post)!!  


Now onto the formalities.....The Award 







1. Explain My Blogging Philosophy, Motivation, and Experience in Five Words.

Wow, five words.  Only five fucking words?!?  Yikes.  ok, how about this....


*Dating is a beautiful disaster!*

2. Award 10 Other Bloggers.

Well, I've been following some really awesome blogs so I'm not sure how to pick just 10...but hopefully I'll be lucky enough to receive more award in the future (hint, hint...wink, wink) and can recognize all the others I may miss!!!


  1. Awkward Sex and the City
  2. Bentobloggy
  3. Boyfriend Challenged
  4. Carrie Bradshaw is Full of Sh*t
  5. Dancing Through DC
  6. Date Me, D.C.!
  7. From the Head of the Danaconda
  8. Girl and Guitar
  9. An International Affair
  10. Oh Honestly, Erin

So there they are folks...Congrats to all!!!!  I hope everyone goes and checks out these blogs...they range from fucking hilarious to creatively delicious and twistedly entertaining to dirty as hell.  So go on and click down the list...it will be the 10 best decisions you make today (aside from stopping here first of course)!! 

Friday, September 24, 2010

I'm Gonna Smile Cause I Deserve To....

From the emotional to the enjoyable…I took you down a rough road yesterday and now in preparation for the WEEKEND lets turn the heat up a notch and indulge in the flirtatious escapades I’ve had over the past week.  My horoscope was so dead on the other day it was frightening (I like to look at it once in a while for amusement)…it said something along the lines of how I’m going through a lot of shit right now but I’m going to see little signs of things starting to get really fucking awesome.  Hell yeah!!  Just what I need.  And you know what those little signs are really there.

Let me tell you (and I will preface this by saying this will make me sound totally full of myself but I’m just being completely honest!!!),  when I was younger and I set my sights on something I wanted I almost always got it.  Men in particular.  I have not a damn clue how I did it.  I try to think back to how I behaved back then or what I may have done but I had some God-given talent that was undeniably fucking awesome!!!  Over the years that the Shithead saga took place God certainly did taketh away my talent.  Why God…why???  But, baby, I do believe it’s coming back!  Let’s explore…

Last Friday I headed out with Roxy, an incredible girl I met through Baby who will be added to my Best People Ever section asap, to Hoboken for a friend’s birthday.  I was so excited to see where the night would take us because whenever we are out its always a blast.  Roxy has this really refreshing, I don’t give a shit, anything goes kind of attitude that makes anything fun.  We down a few glasses of wine at her apartment and after the most ridiculous train adventure we finally make it to the party.  At one point we are standing there laughing, dancing and drinking when I notice this adorable guy sitting on a couch across the table trying to say something to us.  He’s making some kind of motions with his hands and I hear something about a drink.  I had to have asked half a dozen times “Do I want a drink?”  “Oh, you want a drink?”  “Do I have a drink?”  It felt like 20 questions.  It wasn’t my fault though because the music was so fucking loud I swore Id walk out of that place deaf, if I wasn’t already.  

Finally he stands up, walks over, comes up super close and puts his hand on my waist…I immediately get chills…and asked if I would like a drink. Naturally I said yes and in no time he returns with drinks in hand.  Next thing I know we are chatting and dancing and having a great time.  He started to get really self conscious for some reason about the glasses he was wearing and Roxy and I quickly reassured him that they looked great and he needed to keep wearing them.  Rugrat (and I’ll explain this name shortly) was so completely my type…he was the hot, manly, geeky type…built, glasses, well dressed and well spoken…sigh, a boy after my own heart or at least my physical attraction lol  Anyway, we continue on as we were and we get onto the college topic and I find out he graduated in ’08…immediately I see COUGAR flashing in my head.  Rugrat is potentially 3 years younger than me.  Just lovely.  Now I never, until now, go for a younger guy and this was freaking me out a little.  As far as I can remember he never asked me when I graduated or how old I was…so being that he took my number this could get interesting.

Now fast forward to Tuesday night and I’m checking my gmail and imagine my surprise to get a gchat from none other than Jim from The Office Episodes 1 and 2!!  He was inviting me to come out Wednesday night for a little birthday celebration he was having.   Now hearing from him isn’t completely out of the blue…from our last date we had kept in touch and kept saying here and there that we should try and plan to get together…just neither of us were able to make it happen.  He was emphasizing how much he would like me to be there which was so nice to hear but there was no way I was going unless one of my girls came with me.  I was not about to stand around while he is the center of attention with 30 people I don’t know all by myself.  I just wasn’t in the mood.  So, thankfully Baby said she would join me!  Awesome!  This week keeps looking up.

The Juicy Details – There is actually one more tale to tell but I just can’t get to it without wrapping up the other two first.  Well to start…Rugrat and I have been chatting all week.  He invited me to come to a party at his place on Saturday (the day after we met) but I was already busy and then he asked again Saturday night but again more of the same.  We tried a couple of other times this week to make plans but timing has just been working against us so far.  I’m trying to see if he would want to meet up with Patches and I tonight as we tear up Brooklyn but we’ll see.  In the long run though, I hope to make plans soon and its exciting he seems so interested.  I'm still not 100% sure about the age issue yet...I'm really on the fence about it...but I'm adopting a just-go-with-it kind of attitude so I figure at the very least it'll be fun, so what the hell.

Unfortunately I didn’t end up seeing Jim.  Baby crapped out on me since she said she wasn’t feeling well.  I tried to scramble and get another girlfriend to come with me but no one was available.  This could have been worse though because not only did I get other really awesome plans but I got to hear Jim express his disappointment and was asked to promise we’ll get drinks next week (I’m not holding my breath but fingers crossed everyone!)  

So, instead of seeing Jim I went out with Roxy to BB Kings in the city.  We saw a few awesome bands and had a blast.  While we are outside there were two cops, one who I declared from the moment I saw him as soo hot (probably my exact words).  A girl from our group had eyes for his partner and eventually dragged him away to try and get him to take her number...what some girls will do!!  While I was cracking up about what was happening I caught the eye of the hot cop and say out loud for him and just about everyone to hear “I’m sorry but if I were her I’d at least pick the hot one!”  Hello word vomit!!!  Did that just seriously fucking happen??  Well, once my face stopped flushing we found ourselves in a great conversation and as Roxy was pulling me away he asked for my number.  And yes, he actually got in touch.

My friends, I don’t know about you, but I think it’s safe to say my talent is returning...Hallelujah!!!   

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Get Out of My Head...

Its taken me some time to sit and finally write this post.  I’ve had quite a bit going on and each day I attempted to sit and write something else happened, was happening, was going to happen that I wanted to include.  So now this post may end up being a complete fucking disaster from my natural born ability to procrastinate the shit out of everything I do...we'll see what happens.

I suppose the best place to start is the fact that for the past week and a half I have been in a bitch ass mood.  I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve talked my poor friends heads off because I couldn’t get a grip.  No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get out of my own head and I found myself drowning in my own thoughts.  What would cause this complete implosion of my emotional stability…???  Simple, the confirmation that Shithead (my ex) is facebook officially in a relationship.  Yeah, fucking sucks.  Big time.  I’ve had a whole slew of the “I should be the one to move on first”…”He doesn’t deserve to be happy”…”What’s so great about her that he couldn’t find in me” thoughts and pretty much destroyed my ability to think rationally.  Ultimately it got me nowhere. 

No matter how many phone calls I make, how desperately I was tempted to stalk his profile/her profile/his friends profiles, how many times my entire body has tensed up while I’ve imagined punching the ever-living-shit out of his face, or how many sad songs I listened to just to force myself to cry it out…the fact still remains he is with someone else.  Now just because he is in a relationship doesn’t mean he is actually happy or that it will last but details aside it still all boils down to the same thing.

The thing is, even though I felt like a part of me died, the fact still remains that he doesn’t belong with me.  I could probably write a book based on all the reasons we don’t belong together from something as simple as in the 5 years we were together he never once got me my favorite flower…you could ask him what it was and without hesitation he would say “Sunflower” but yet the fucker never once bought me a goddamn sunflower.  Sure he gave me flowers on numerous occasions so was it so difficult to pick the ones that would make my heart melt?  It wasn’t, he just didn’t want to.  Then there were things more serious such as him never going on vacation (travel is important to me and in 5 years the biggest trip we took was to Boston and we live in NY…wtf), his temper, his lower sex drive (I could not spend the rest of my life with someone I had to constantly beg to be kissed or touched or whatever), constantly being stressed and on edge that he would break up with me again…and the list goes on. 

So, yes we are better off apart but that doesn’t make it all hurt any less.  I gave everything I had and then some to the relationship.  I was willing to compromise so much of myself for him and to be with him.  I clearly loved him more then he loved me, if he really loved me at all.  And I walk away without him but with a lot of lessons, a stronger hard and a tougher backbone.  Maybe one day I will actually post our story…that is sure to be a good read.

* Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go so I can be free*


That song, my god, that song!!  I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about it until now but its words are so true.  While I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how to get him out of my head, my heart and my vocabulary I found myself starting to feel the weight being lifted off of me.  I know these things are not nearly as easy as flipping a switch but I actually feel a lot better now.  I can sleep better, breathe easier and not feel like I’m desperately grasping for something that’s out of my reach.  It’s fantastic!

Now I feel like I can officially call my new theme song “Ridin Solo” by Jason Derulo…here are a few clips which I think describe my new outlook perfectly…

*No one to answer to, 
no one that's gonna argue, no,
And since I got the hold off me, 
I'm living life now that I'm free, yeah*


*better days are gonna get better*


*I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry but it's over now, 
the pain is gone*


*Now I'm feeling how I should, 

never knew single could feel this good*

*Living my life ain’t got stress no more*

The Juicy Details:  Really there are no juicy details pertaining to this post.  Initially I thought I would include an update on the men who deserve or think they deserve to occupy my time but it turned into a bit of a venting session.  I confess that I allowed thoughts of my ex to occupy way too many of my thoughts, be the cause of way too many of my tears and be the trigger of stress and sleepless nights.  As part of this blog I made a promise to be open and honest and not hold anything back so while I feel embarrassed for allowing myself to be so caught up with someone who has told me in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t want me I know it needed to be said.  But I can see the beauty and excitement in my current situation…I can go where I want, with who I want, when I want…no more stress…no more desperately loving someone…and most of all the fact that I am now available to find my person and I can’t wait to meet him!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Tables Have Turned...

Call it what you will…karma, fate, tables turned, a taste of my own medicine…not matter how you slice it, this was not a cake I wanted to sample.  On Friday...yes, my sacred Friday night, I had a date planned.  A date I actually wanted to go through with and shockingly was willing to give up my Friday night for…was “postponed”.  Really people, what the fuck?  I’ve done the postpone a date thing before…hell, I invented the postpone act…so this was. NOT. cool.  All I kept thinking was “I’m supposed to be the one to do this!” as if there is actually a supposed to in any way, shape or form when it comes to dating.  Give me a break.  Although it wouldn’t be such a bad idea because then maybe we could all get dating manuals with all the rules and expectations and possibly eliminate some of the frustration and mystery…but even then there would be rebellious rule breakers who would mess up the serenity I tried to create, damn you.

I digress.  My date was with Rocky who is a 30yr old NYC transplant by way of the Chicago area for childhood, an impressive undergrad (where he boxed…hence rocky…) and an MBA program.  I had emailed him back in July and he only just responded about a week or so ago.  But he seemed really interesting so I was willing to overlook the severe delayed reaction.  We talked all last week and eventually made plans.  We were supposed to grab drinks, maybe some dinner and explore his neighborhood (which also happens to be one of my favorites) in Brooklyn.  We both seemed pretty excited.  He was the one who requested Friday night due to the fact that he never knows if he’ll get stuck at work and hates having to cancel plans…last I checked people work on Friday so I was trying to figure out how that logic made sense.

Friday afternoon comes along and I get a text from Rocky asking how my day was going.  I tell him busy, he says the same and follows it up with “I’m exhausted.”  This is the first time my spirits fell…I got this weird feeling where this was headed and I didn’t like it.  I tend to have a keen sense for these things and right now my senses were telling me this guy was about to try and cancel.  Bummer.  I could have easily asked him right then if he wanted to reschedule but no way I was going to make it that easy.  After a few texts back and forth, one where he says “FYI still at work and buried” to which I replied “oh wow that sucks”… he eventually tells me that while he knows it’s terribly rude would I be pissed if he asked to postpone since he’s going to be at work for a while and is really grumpy about it.

An hour later I still hadn’t replied because 1. I was actually pretty pissed 2. I was in the middle of an intense P90X workout with my friend and 3. I had no idea how I wanted to respond to that.  Well clearly my silence didn’t sit well with him being that he sent me another text because he was worried I was really pissed he even suggested that.  Fucking duh.  But I tried to play it cool and show him I was interested so I told him that while I wasn’t exactly jumping up and down I understood…I’m not a total bitch ;) 

The Juicy Details:  After he thanked me for understanding and I said he was welcome I didn’t hear from him all weekend.  I’m not really upset or surprised about that…we never met, I don’t really know him from a hole in the wall, there is no reason for him to text me during a weekend.  One thing I will say is that I was a little disappointed he didn’t try and reschedule right away.  I feel that would have been a nice way of showing me he was definitely interested and wasn’t canceling to be a dick.  On the flip side, we have never met so I can see how it’s really easy to just brush off the extra effort and decide to reschedule another day.  Either way, we finally were chatting today and I’ll see if he tries to make new plans.  I’m not holding my breath but I do have my fingers crossed.  I will keep you posted.


UPDATE: So Rocky and I have been txting this week...seriously, guys need to be retrained to use the damn phone...and I found myself becoming increasingly bored with the back and forth...so in a last effort to make plans I proposed we go for drinks last night...naturally he says it depended on work and "shockingly" I get a text at 5pm saying its not looking good...ever the resourceful one I had already been in the middle of an awesome workout in the gym (I wait around for no one) and eventually replied "Ok, don't even worry about it" and proceeded to delete all texts and his number from my phone.  I'm not going to lie, I kind of get a rush of excitement when I do this...it feels really empowering for some reason.  Now I dont know if this boy has a sixth sense but later on last night I get a text from him apologizing for not being able to get together and a promise to do it another time.  Yaawwn.  Now that I'm over this I'll bet he starts pursuing me now.  This could get interesting.  

Thursday, September 2, 2010

He's Dumber Than He Looks Folks...

I’m no rocket scientist , even though I have the degree to be one (no joke)…however, I do like to consider myself intelligent.  I’m not talking on par with the guys from Big Bang Theory but I can hold my own with a graphing calculator.  I mention this today because I’m realizing more and more just how important it is for two people to be on similar levels of intelligence, maybe education, career, etc.  It’s very difficult to date someone your constantly rolling your eyes at while holding yourself back from laughing and smacking your head every time something stupid comes out of their mouth.  Don’t get me wrong, we all are guilty of saying stupid shit and more often than not everyone gets a really good laugh out of it when that happens.  But if over the course of an evening nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth there is a problem. 


Now onto my date with Husky.  We decided to go for ices which, like I mentioned I thought was a great idea.  He wanted to pick me up which I wasn’t completely against but didn’t exactly feel was completely necessary.  Still I agree and when he called to let me know he was outside (whatever happened to good old fashioned ringing a bell..???) I come out to find him leaning again his passenger side door waiting to let me in.  Ok sweet enough, at least we wasn’t sitting in his car like a lump of shit waiting for me to get in. 


Husky decides we should go to the ices location that is the furthest from either of our houses and all I can think of is…shit, if this goes poorly I’m stuck with this guy for the entire ride home, god help me.  So we’re chatting away and I decide now is as good a time as any to dive in and ask him about school and work since I hadn’t been able to before.  Basically I find out he never finished college…why…oh because the moron got kicked out.  Now, not finishing college is one thing, a lot of really smart people never even went to college or dropped out and manage to be some of the most influential people in society…Husky is not one of them.  This idiot managed to get himself kicked out of one of the easiest, most laid back city schools around because he just couldn’t be bothered with showing up to class.  What took a higher priority…drinking.  Well done PYT you really know how to pick the winners.  

He begins to tell me how he started drinking at a really young age and drank so much he completely fucked up his stomach and now has all these problems.  What the fuck!?!  I’m sorry but are you telling me this to impress me because I must be missing the punchline somewhere.  First, why, why, WHY would you tell someone that on a first date???  Second, where were your parents that no one ever noticed what was clearly a severe dependency on alcohol.  Then he starts telling me what a hustler he was and all I keep picturing is some sleezy porn magazine and have to prevent myself from cracking up.  He said he would do all these odd jobs for people to make money so he could go out and party on the weekend.  In high school I worked at the Y to make money so I could buy gas, clothes and mall food with my friends…ok and the occasional keg my friends and I would throw senior year.  Point is, unlike Husky I was not making money to fuel some sort of stomach illness inducing alcohol obsession.

Needless to say as I neared the end of my ice aka the only distraction I had from the ding dong sitting next to me I wanted to kick myself for not ordering a medium.  I skipped on calories and I’m now forced to fake my way through the rest of the date.  Awesome.  Just as I finish my last spoon of ice and seriously considered licking the bowl to see if there is even just a little goodness left my brain tunes into what Husky was saying and at just the right moment too or I would have missed the “highlight” of the date…

Husky: “Yeah so my hours are usually pretty good but sometimes we have to cover for the other guys…like on Thursday I have to work 8-8”

Me: “Oh wow, well that’s a long day”  (almost as long as this date is beginning to feel and we’ve only been out for an hour)

Husky: “Yeah it is…whats that like 10hours?”

                Umm no, no its not…I’m still at a loss for words with this one.  I’m sure my face, which was covered with pure shock, gave away my feelings.

Husky:  (kind of laughing it off) “Oh no no, whats that like 12hrs right”

Deep breath.  I nod, smile and giggle along with him but all I’m thinking is….I’m scared.

The Juicy Details:  We are on our way home and he asks me if I smoke because he does and he’s not sure if I saw that in his profile because usually nonsmokers don’t want to go out with smokers…fucking duh.  And that right there was my official, guilt free deal breaker.  I don’t smoke, never have, never will and have no desire to date someone who does.  As we pull up to my house he keeps asking if I had fun…to which I keep responding “I loved the ice, it was such a good idea”…I didn’t want to lie but I had to say something.  Then he keeps asking if we are hanging out again so I told him we’ll talk and figure it out.  When I try and give him a hug, he naturally tries to give me a kiss…after I dodged that bullet I headed for my door.  

The truth is Husky was totally cute, a gentleman and definitely sweet…however, between the smoking, getting kicked out of college, apparent excessive drinking and I’ll be honest that 10hrs comment…I don’t think there will be a second date.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Another Day in Online Paradise...

When you put yourself out there to the dating world you are opening yourself up to criticism, judgement and lots of people who may not like you.  But its a two way street so you need to learn how not to take any of it personally.


When putting your profile onto an online dating site you are now allowing thousands of people to silently (for the most part) judge you and reject you.  Sometimes you come across these mental midgets that leave you scratching your head wondering what the fuck his mother must have ingested while she was pregnant to have him turn out the way he did....


Please enjoy the following message chain between me and this dumbass....also note that I have never met him, never spoke to him, never looked at his profile before in my life....and yet...after looking at my profile he felt compelled to send me a message instead of just moving on to the next girl he may actually like...what the shit fuck is wrong with this guy!  Well at least he provided my coworkers and I....and now you...with some afternoon entertainment.








·         whoa
·         Dumbass
Ahahahaah. Ur fat
97% Enemy0% Friend0% Match
**PLEASE NOTE THIS GENUIS IS 97% MY ENEMY**
·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:09pm
and your an ass...thanks for playing.

·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:12pm
Yikes staten island. And you are greek? Someone is hairy

·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:15pm
oh wow, so you know how to stereotype, good for you. dont you have anything better to do?

·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:16pm
Yes I do. And it is so much fun. You just seem arrogant.

·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:22pm
so then why are you messaging me?

·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:25pm
Knocking u down a peg ahahah.
**Knock me down a peg from where exactly?  This seems like something hard to do to someone you have NEVER met before and at this point never will...so what is your motive?  Do you think your doing society some great service by calling me names?  Sorry, didn't realize this was dateafirstgrader.com**
·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:27pm
your delusional to think you'd have that kind of effect on me. bye.

·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:35pm
You are delusional to think you are fit or thin. You are a size 8.

**NOTE—no where in my profile does it say I am thin (It says fit and at a size 4 I think thats fair).  And being that all the pictures are of my face I’d love to know how he could possibly make that call...not that I really care because there is nothing wrong with a size 8**
·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:38pm
are you mistaking me for someone else you might know?

·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:47pm
No. I don't know any fat greek girls who work in construction

·         ME
Sep. 1, 2010 – 2:55pm
well then your just mistaking me for someone who gives a shit.



·         Dumbass
Sep. 1, 2010 – 3:14pm
Ok fatty

·         ME
Just now!
another excellent email. listen your feeble attempts to try and get under my skin are laughable at best...run along little boy, I'm bored with you.





And thats when I blocked Prince Charming because frankly I had enough of his stupidity.  Stay tuned for an update on my date with Husky!!!





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